What’s winning the Internet today (07.18.13)

July 18, 2013, 9:00 am

≫ Next: Ice Hotel photos beat the heat

≪ Previous: Rihanna fans are finally sick of her sh*t, throw stuff at her

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Since we here at Guyism pretty much live on the Internet we run across an awful lot of good things each day. These are some of the funniest, sexiest, most entertaining things we’ve seen so far today.

Florida’s Mermaid Bias

Huffington Post

Can’t a Sexy Mermaid Just Get a Break These Days?
Mermaid Kicked Out of Pools For “No Fin” Policy

The Jeff Bridges Matrix

Heavy

It’s broken into four categories: Bearded, Clean Shaven, Stoned or Drunk and Sober.
The Jeff Bridges Matrix

That is Classy

Just met @DanicaPatrick in the bathroom jsiidjdkdodmdjjs I wanted to talk through the stalls but tried to be classy #espys

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July 18, 2013

@chrissyteigen

Jessica Perez in Bikinis

Popoholic

Why don’t we see this woman modeling bikinis more often?
Jessica Perez Swimsuit Pictures are in the House!

DeSean Jackson’s New Music Video

SI Extra Mustard

The song couldn’t be why they’re bored, could it?
All of the Women in DeSean Jackson’s New Music Video Look Bored

2013 LA Kings Ice Girl Tryouts

Miss Jenna Being Amazing

Gorilla Mask

You are going to REALLY like the shirt she’s wearing.
Jenna (NSFWish)

Unbelievable Science Facts

The Chive

Mind. Blown.
Science Facts That Will Shake Up Your Universe (30 Photos)

Jennifer Walcott in Bikinis

Busted Coverage

She was a Playmate, you know? A very good Playmate.
Adam Archuleta’s Wife, Jennifer Walcott, Back to Bikini Modeling

Good Work If You Can Get It

Rory McIlroy has a new part-time job: Mowing the rough at Muirfield with his golf clubs.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 18, 2013

@danjenkinsgd

You Will Want One of These

Clip Nation

Watch it blow away a Nissan Skyline R33 GTS-T in a drag race.
The World’s Fastest Mobility Scooter (Video)

Eva Bohatova in Lingerie

Celebslam

Czech please!
Model at Midnight: Eva Bohatova

Preacher Goes H.A.M.

HyperVocal

This was at a funeral, mind you.
Fire & Brimstone Preacher Goes H.A.M. at South Carolina Funeral (Video)

Kelly Brook in ‘Nuts’

DrunkenStepfather

She really is an attractive woman.
Kelly Brook Big T**ties for Nuts

Totally Insane Sports

The Smoking Jacket

That one looks fun.
5 Totally Insane Sports You’ve Never Heard Of

Porn Star Tweets

Maxim

That first one is just sad.
This Week in Porn Star Tweets

What was Winning the Internet Yesterday

SI Extra Mustard

Girls and Guns, Best U.S. Cites For Stoners, Petra Nemcova and more!

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Ice Hotel photos beat the heat

July 18, 2013, 9:15 am

≫ Next: Soldier dad returning home surprises family in most amazing way

≪ Previous: What’s winning the Internet today (07.18.13)

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It’s over 90 degrees in 48 states today, but as long as you think cold thoughts you should be OK. There’s nothing colder than Sweden’s Icehotel, so use these pictures to cool yourself down.

The Icehotel is located in the Arctic Circle and is built of giant blocks of ice carved from the Torne River. They also use a spray-able mixture of snow and ice (snice) to help shape and insulate the hotel. Each year, new artists are recruited to design and build the bedrooms with themes ranging from flowers to sci-fi. More importantly, the ICEBAR serves up Absolut cocktails in glasses made entirely of ice. They go a long way to making sleeping in a bedroom that’s -5 degrees Celsius.

Each spring the hotel melts completely and the building process begins all over again in the fall.

Soldier dad returning home surprises family in most amazing way

July 18, 2013, 9:30 am

≫ Next: SpaghettiOs introduces ridiculous new flavor: CheeseburgerOs

≪ Previous: Ice Hotel photos beat the heat

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Bethany Bronson’s husband and father of her kids came home three weeks earlier than planned and shocked his family in the coolest way imaginable. This is guaranteed to brighten your day.

Way to report for duty, Captain Bronson. Now hopefully you’re ready to stay at attention for extended periods of time to get your wife back on track.

SpaghettiOs introduces ridiculous new flavor: CheeseburgerOs

July 18, 2013, 9:45 am

≫ Next: msnNOW.com: Miley Cyrus ‘We Can’t Stop’ parody is oddly hypnotic

≪ Previous: Soldier dad returning home surprises family in most amazing way

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After 20 years, SpaghettiOs is finally adding a new flavor, CheeseburgerOs. This is the perfect excuse to act like a kid again, assuming you ever stopped.

Facebook

SpaghettiOs have added meatballs, hotdogs, and dinosaurs to their lineup, but they’ve haven’t changed the actual flavor in 20 years. Now the Os will be jumping into a bath of cheeseburger-flavored meat sauce. Why? Because they’re geniuses, that’s why. Who doesn’t love cheeseburgers? They might be the only food kids like more than SpaghettiOs. Like the losers handbook says, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

If you want other breaking pasta news, you can follow SpaghettiOs on Twitter. You can follow me too, but that’s not really relevant here.

msnNOW.com: Miley Cyrus ‘We Can’t Stop’ parody is oddly hypnotic

July 18, 2013, 10:00 am

≫ Next: Charl Schwartzel snaps his club in half after poor shot

≪ Previous: SpaghettiOs introduces ridiculous new flavor: CheeseburgerOs

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msnNOW

It’s ridiculous (and slightly NSFW), but oddly enough, this parody video isn’t any more ridiculous than the actual music video for Miley Cyrus’ new hit song “We Can’t Stop.”

Click to see more on msnNOW.com, updated 24 hours a day.

Charl Schwartzel snaps his club in half after poor shot

July 18, 2013, 10:20 am

≫ Next: Marissa Raisor won the 2013 Miss Hooters Swimsuit Pageant

≪ Previous: msnNOW.com: Miley Cyrus ‘We Can’t Stop’ parody is oddly hypnotic

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Charl Schwartzel was one of the favorites coming in to the British Open. Judging from this shot, things aren’t going his way.

The shot capped off a terrible three hole stretch for Schwartzel where he went bogey-bogey-bogey. He’s currently +5.

Marissa Raisor won the 2013 Miss Hooters Swimsuit Pageant

July 18, 2013, 10:30 am

≫ Next: ‘Amazing Spiderman 2′ comic con teaser debuts Electro

≪ Previous: Charl Schwartzel snaps his club in half after poor shot

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So you watched the 2013 Miss Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant last night, right? There wasn’t anything else on was there? If you didn’t watch it then missed out on Marissa Raisor being named Miss Hooters International 2013. Luckily for you we’re friends with the fine folks over at BikiniTeam.tv who shot this video of your winner (along with videos of the second place finisher and the rest of the top five). So what was it about Marissa Raisor that earned her this prestigious honor? According to Hooters magazine, before she was crowned Miss Hooters International: “This brown eyed gal was Florida-made, but Kentucky-raised. If Marissa is not studying for her degree, you can find her in a gym playing basketball or walking a runway. Don’t be surprised if you catch this vivacious jewel on ESPN one day interviewing your favorite athlete.” One can only hope.

Photo credit: YouTube/Bikini Team

‘Amazing Spiderman 2′ comic con teaser debuts Electro

July 18, 2013, 10:45 am

≫ Next: This is a Fiat made of 12 naked women

≪ Previous: Marissa Raisor won the 2013 Miss Hooters Swimsuit Pageant

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Jamie Foxx has been leaking secrets about Electro in Amazing Spiderman 2 for months. Now we finally see him in action in a teaser for the Amazing Spiderman 2 setup at comic con, and it’s electric.

Possible spoilers if you haven’t read anything about the movie yet…

Seriously…

Are you sure?

OK:

Electro is a pathetic, misunderstood genius. Spiderman says something nice to him. Electro then thinks he’s Spidey’s partner. Things go wrong. Electro gets pissed and goes all super-villain on everyone.

That’s pretty much the AC and DC of it. Seems like a decent enough plot to me, especially with an actor as incredible as Jamie Foxx running the show. We’ll undoubtedly learn more as we get into comic con weekend.

Entertainment Weekly…obviously.

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This is a Fiat made of 12 naked women

July 18, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: Guyism Speed Round for July 18

≪ Previous: ‘Amazing Spiderman 2′ comic con teaser debuts Electro

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To promote a new Fiat, the car company decided to body paint 12 nude women and put them together like a car. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds (and mildly NSFW, naturally).

I sincerely hope the actual car isn’t as lumpy and haphazardly put together as this collection of a dozen women is. I mean look at this:

YouTube

That looks like a car out of your nightmares that’d try to eat you and your family. Literally the worst possible outcome you could have with 12 nude women. No car sales for you!

Guyism Speed Round for July 18

July 18, 2013, 11:08 am

≫ Next: Girls in white bikinis because it’s nasty hot outside

≪ Previous: This is a Fiat made of 12 naked women

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In Today’s Guyism Speed Round, Chet Siegel discusses tainted lunches and how to turn a dead person into a lesbian.

Don’t forget to subscribe on YouTube to see more from Chet every single day!

Missed an episode? See all of the recent Guyism Speed Rounds here.

Girls in white bikinis because it’s nasty hot outside

July 18, 2013, 11:15 am

≫ Next: 10 unemployed Disney villian resumes

≪ Previous: Guyism Speed Round for July 18

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Tumblr/hasthatlook

Listen, it’s hot outside, like deathly hot. So here are some girls in white bikinis because white bikinis are a great thing to wear in these temperatures.

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Twitter/Heidi Klum

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ffamosoc

10 unemployed Disney villian resumes

July 18, 2013, 11:30 am

≫ Next: This wrestler has the greatest victory dance ever

≪ Previous: Girls in white bikinis because it’s nasty hot outside

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The Chive

Ever wonder what all those Disney villains do after they’ve been defeated in a movie? Well, just like us they create a resume and start sending it out.

This wrestler has the greatest victory dance ever

July 18, 2013, 11:45 am

≫ Next: Throwback Thursday: Jenny McCarthy

≪ Previous: 10 unemployed Disney villian resumes

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Rasul Chunayev won some sort of wrestling match for a gold medal. Cool. Way more important: His victory dance is straight up art.

What better way to celebrate mounting another man for the enjoyment of other men than mincing around like you just got a call time to replace Cory Monteith on Glee? There is none. Quit wrestling and get men’s rhythmic gymnastics off the ground, Rasul. The world is ready. (via Barstool Boston)

Throwback Thursday: Jenny McCarthy

July 18, 2013, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: Kobayashi downs a gallon of milk in 20 seconds

≪ Previous: This wrestler has the greatest victory dance ever

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Back in the late 1990s you’d have been hard pressed to find a woman guys liked more than Jenny McCarthy. The 1994 Playboy Playmate of the Year was everywhere and we were glad. In 1995 MTV hired McCarthy to host a new dating show called Singled Out (remember that one?). She also appeared at WrestleMania XI alongside Shawn Michaels in the same year. That led to The Jenny McCarthy Show on MTV and an NBC sitcom called Jenny. Now here it is, seven Playboy pictorials (and six covers) later, and Jenny McCarthy is one of the new hosts of The View. Oh well, I guess we can’t win them all.

Click on to see more of Jenny McCarthy looking the way we remember her.

Check out previous Throwback Thursdays.

1997 Academy Awards

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

2000 Carousel of Hope Ball

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

2000 Carousel of Hope Ball

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

2000 Carousel of Hope Ball

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

1997 Fire & Ice Ball

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

2000 ‘Scream 3′ Premiere

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

2000 ‘Scream 3′ Premiere

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

2003 American Music Awards

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

2005 World Music Awards

Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Check out previous Throwback Thursdays.


Photo credit: Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Kobayashi downs a gallon of milk in 20 seconds

July 18, 2013, 12:15 pm

≫ Next: 25 GIFs Salute: Weekly tribute to hot chick GIFs

≪ Previous: Throwback Thursday: Jenny McCarthy

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Former Nathan’s Hot Dog champ Kobayashi may still be barred from the yearly hot dog carnival of gluttony, but he’s still out there doing all sorts of disgusting things. In this video, that includes downing a gallon of milk in 20 seconds.

Can Kobayashi and the Major League Eating organization make up now? He’s drinking a gallon of milk and eating cupcakes for a storage company for God’s sake. He’s probably two years away from drinking a bottle of ketchup for a dollar on the stairs of the Bryant Park Library. Watching someone gluttonously waste food should not be a moment of joy, not sadness. It’s the American way.

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25 GIFs Salute: Weekly tribute to hot chick GIFs

July 19, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: Did we mention that Rita Ora is really ridiculously good at modeling?

≪ Previous: Kobayashi downs a gallon of milk in 20 seconds

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Cool down with this week’s 25 GIF salute featuring Olivia Munn, Sharknado waitress Cassie Scerbo and a monkey playing with Katy Perry’s boobs.

Be sure to ‘like’ us on Facebook for more great content.

25 Oh my dear God

24 Hero monkey looks down Katy Perry’s shirt

23 Everyone else is exercising wrong

22 Love you Mila

21 What an important GIF

20 Because BUTTS

19 Nope, implants

18 God Bless America

17 You have strong boobies

16 What an adorable freakout by Lauren Cohan

15 Oh, ZING!

14 For the panty fetish crowd

13 Does Olivia Munn need to slap a bitch?

12 Jumps up, snatches it from the air

11 And the winner of this year’s Hooters International is…

10 I just got one of those odd boners

9 Will you marry me?

8 But seriously, will you?

7 Is this the sexiest woman in Germany?

6 Yes, we’re totally in love with Sharknado’s Cassie Scerbo

5 Jesse Lee Denning is a hot tattooed babe

4 Call Me when you can throw better pitches

3 Olivia

2 Fuckin’

1 Munn

Did we mention that Rita Ora is really ridiculously good at modeling?

July 19, 2013, 11:15 am

≫ Next: The Weekend Guyism Speed Round

≪ Previous: 25 GIFs Salute: Weekly tribute to hot chick GIFs

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Last Friday we showed you some sexy pictures of Rita Ora posing as the new face of Material Girl. They were very good. And now we have behind the scenes video of the shoot. Also good. Last time I asked you to tell me who you liked better as the Material Girl model, Rita or Georgia May Jagger and I said that I thought I preferred Rita. So now that we have even more evidence to compare what do you think?

Photo credit: YouTube/Material Girl

The Weekend Guyism Speed Round

July 19, 2013, 11:30 am

≫ Next: The 130 MPH lawnmower that will probably kill you

≪ Previous: Did we mention that Rita Ora is really ridiculously good at modeling?

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In today’s Guyism Speed Round, Chet Siegel discusses KFC’s fancy new restaurant and how to reward breastfeeding in public.

Don’t forget to subscribe on YouTube to see more from Chet every single day!

Missed an episode? See all of the recent Guyism Speed Rounds here.

The 130 MPH lawnmower that will probably kill you

July 19, 2013, 11:45 am

≫ Next: Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets

≪ Previous: The Weekend Guyism Speed Round

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Thrillist

Where do we even begin? The nutjobs over at Honda Team Dynamics cannibalized a 1000cc ATV into their stock HF260 ride-on lawn mower, and we just can’t. Watch the video, that’s about all we can say.

Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets

July 19, 2013, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: How much is a billion dollars really?

≪ Previous: The 130 MPH lawnmower that will probably kill you

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eldh, Flickr

Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.

Photo credit: eldh, Flickr

The good news is we got a 4 star review. The bad news its from all the reviews combined

— David Spade (@DavidSpade) July 15, 2013

And yet it still made bank. SMH.

The time you spend hearing people say "fashion-forward" is time you can't get back.

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) July 15, 2013

Like just now.

If you put headphones into your nostrils and open your mouth, it forms instant speakers. Haha!

— JessicaJane Stafford (@KissJessicaJane) July 15, 2013

Dare you to try it.

Retweet if you think we should eliminate wasteful tax breaks for the oil and gas industry, saving American taxpayers $4 billion a year.

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) July 15, 2013

Troll so hard, POTUS.

i need a date to the espy's. should i make a youtube video?

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July 15, 2013

No.

Watching home run comp.I can easily hit the ball further than any of them

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) July 16, 2013

Wow I can hit a softball further than these guys can hit a baseball in the home run derby.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) July 16, 2013

Cespedes come challenge me to a hr competition. Ask larussa who would winn

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) July 16, 2013

This went on all night.

Hey MLB, how about adding an Unable To Advance Runners To Third Derby so my Royals can strut their stuff?

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) July 16, 2013

They would so dominate.

Is she fucking Ray J too??? RT @KimKardashian: Watching my mom now! Couldn't be more proud!!!

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 16, 2013

Ooh, bad mental image. Bad bad.

Operation massive side boob has commenced

— Ashley Alexiss (@AshAlexiss) July 16, 2013

Pics or it didn’t happen.

Headed into meeting for a bust ass kill em all action movie this summer. Gonna be some caddywampus ass whoopins on this sumbitch.

— Steve Austin (@steveaustinBSR) July 16, 2013

Is it even possible to fit more badass into 140 characters?

Super weird. In England band-aids are called plasters and they freak out when you eat em.

— chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) July 16, 2013

Wait, what?

Listening to Jenny McCarthy talk? RT @washmonthly: How Autism Really "Spreads" http://t.co/xetcPLRoKU

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) July 16, 2013

TWEET OF THE WEEK!

I like bad girls with round bottoms even though they are often a nightmare personally. I'm such a fraud.

— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) July 16, 2013

The more you know.

I just want to be loved by anonymous people I don't give a shit about on the internet. Is that so wrong?

— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) July 16, 2013

Actually I think it is.

It's not racism if you hate everyone equally. Some old Asian lady once told me that.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 17, 2013

Asians are wise.

For the 1st time, a drone landed itself on an aircraft carrier. Wake me up when it learns 2 play volleyball against a shirtless Val Kilmer.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) July 17, 2013

Seriously.

Apparently all this time I've been trying to get on the cover of Rolling Stone the HARD way.

— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) July 17, 2013

Presented without comment.

Texts: Cool! What does it say? Emails: Oh God… what do they want? Phone call: I basically assume someone has died.

— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 17, 2013

Sounds about right.

what movie better Sharknado 2 or Your the biggest piece of dead dog shit in the world go fuck your own ass forever till you die 4?

— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) July 17, 2013

I’m gonna go with Sharknado 2.

Sharknado 2 idea: The Sharknado goes back in time to protect a boy from an even bigger and more deadly Sharknado.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) July 17, 2013

I like it.

Sitting front row at the ESPYs so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna win.

— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) July 18, 2013

What? For the Sex Olympics?

@chrissyteigen I was going to keep talking to you but I thought u would think I was weird….since I was going to the bathroom and all.

— Danica Patrick (@DanicaPatrick) July 18, 2013

You’re getting a mental image right now, aren’t you?

Unless Kate Middleton gives birth to one of those E*TRADE babies, I'm not impressed.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 18, 2013

Nor should you be.

Mick Jagger or Jenna Jameson: which performer has professionally used the word "yeah" the most times?

— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) July 18, 2013

Solid question.

It's exactly 1,000,000 degrees outside.

— Elizabeth Gillies (@LizGillies) July 18, 2013

Yes, yes it is.

Victoria's Secret is a beefy, veiny dick strapped to her leg.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) July 19, 2013

I probably should have stopped with the last tweet.