So Miley Cyrus’ music video for “We Can’t Stop” finally came out so maybe we can stop hearing about it now. Oh, wait, we can’t because it looks like a high school AV film project gone berserk. Where shall we begin? In this video for “We Can’t Stop” there are the following: Miley Cyrus grinding on a bed and sticking her ass in the air, Miley wearing grills in her mouth, Miley mean-mugging for the camera like a gangsta, Miley throwing signs, Miley spanking a transvestite, Miley twerking (of course), Miley in a pool almost showing her nipples, Miley with taxidermied animals, Miley kissing some dude’s stomach and then resting on it, a skull made of french fries, fake fingers being amputated, and, okay, there’s a lot more, but jeezus, that’s enough. It’s either the greatest piece of performance art ever created or the dumbest thing anyone has ever seen. I guess it’s up to you to make the call.
Heather Locklear stars on tonight’s episode of Franklin & Bash. At 51, she’s still quite lovely. Here she is aerobicizing in the 80s.
Welcome to GIFterpiece Theatre–Guyism’s daily installment of the internet’s best GIFs. Check out some of our favorites from the world of celebs, TV, sports and humor.
Between this DJ’s one “dance” move and the completely lifeless crowd, this might be the most painful DJing performance ever captured on video.
Limply flailing your arm about and throwing a bag of “candy” (let’s just say candy) into the crowd are always guaranteed ways to get them moving. I mean did you see that one guy bouncing up and down at 1:56? He’s having the time of his life.
You may have lost 10,000 people DJ Shitstain but you got that one dude pumping. If we could only get 1,000,000 people in a room, you’d be crushing it.
There are ice cream references and fence jumps galore in the new trailer for the The World’s End, the final installment in Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s Cornetto Trilogy. They fought zombies in Shaun of the Dead and murderous super-neighbors in Hot Fuzz, but now it’s time for robots to get their due. Remember robots? We used to be talk about those all the time until the stupid pirates, ninjas, and unicorns came along.
As a grown-ass man who still goes on pub crawls, I’m always interested in a movie about old guys trying to finish one. Thankfully mine involve funny hats instead of robots hellbent on destroying me, so getting to the last bar is never an issue. Things are a little more dicey for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as they finish out one of the best hybrid trilogies I’ve ever watched.
Jennie Garth, as a part of The Three Kellys, was one of our biggest crushes of the 1990s. Kelly Taylor, of 90210, joined Kelly Bundy and Kelly Kapowski as the three females who defined the decade for many of us. Now she’s one of the sexiest actresses over the age of 40. Oh where has the time gone?
For those of you who haven’t been keeping up, Jennie Garth has still been pretty busy. She spent four years on the TV show What I Like About You , three years on the reboot of 90210, and even had her own reality show for a year on CMT. Lately she’s been dabbling mostly in TV movies with her next one to come out being called Home Again. Other than that we’re just waiting to see what her next big move is.
Click on to see more of Jennie looking the way we remember her.
Bees have played more roles in movies than Johnny Depp. They’ve been killers, TV hosts, scapegoats, torturers, and even transportation. With such a wide range of characters available, we took a look at the 10 best movie scenes involving bees. Undoubtedly we left off your favorite, so feel free to angrily let us know.
Best in Show is a movie all about neurotic dog owners, but it’s a squeaky toy named Busy Bee that throws a wrench in one couple’s blue ribbon dreams. Watching Parker Posey threaten to have a housekeeper deported because she can’t find Beatrice’s Busy Bee is nothing short of genius. The poor pet store owner definitely didn’t know he was dealing with a future vampire when he suggested a bear in a bumble bee costume was a suitable alternative.
“A pet store is down the stairs? What are you wizard or a genius?”
Tommy Callahan isn’t good at much, but he certainly sold a bee attack. Why pay a speeding ticket when you can just pull off to the side of the road, hop out of your car, and pretend to have your flesh being torn away by a fictional swarm of bees? Admit it, you’ve 100% considered using this technique. Unfortunately, Tommy Boy is so awesome that just about every cop has seen the movie. They might let you go just for being ballsy enough to try it though.
If there’s one person I want running the show when a swarm of killer bees come to town, it’s Michael Caine. He’s seems so calm in the face of massive devastation in The Swarm. Not even a playground littered with the bodies of dead school children can phase him. Why do they fall? He also knows fun facts about bees, like that they don’t function well under 50 degrees. It’s that sort of knowledge, delivered with an accent, that can keep people calm and collected during a disaster.
“Everybody get inside. The killer bees are coming, do you understand?”
Bee Movie might be entirely about bees, but one stood head and stinger above the rest. That’s Bee Larry King, who’s a spot on replica of human Larry King right down to his stupid statements of how things were back in his day. While not technically breaking the 4th wall, the acknowledgement and mockery of real-world Larry King makes the scene. It’s also a good way to steal a character from real life without pissing off movie bloggers.
“Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.”
If you watch Pure Luck, you can see what’s going to happen from a mile away. Martin Short’s character is severely allergic to bees, and there’s nothing Danny Glover can do to stop the eventual bee sting. Normally a simple sting and swell wouldn’t be all that funny, but you can’t help laughing when tiny Martin Short balloons up into the bastard child of Chris Farley.
“I can flick it away with my hands. I have very fast hands.”
Bees are typically terrifying because they attack in swarms, but Mysterious Island took a different approach. They had one giant bee. We’re talking old school Godzilla-esque b-movie monster bee. Like most monsters though, it couldn’t reach it’s intended victims in a small space, even though that incredibly brilliant hiding space was an oversized honeycomb. I’ll bet Larry King misses the good old days when all you needed was an enormous insect and comically epic music to make a cult classic movie.
The only think more wild than the bee-back ride in Honey I Shrunk the Kids was the shrunken children’s emotional roller coaster. Initially they were terrified that the bees were going to kill them, but in no time were riding around the yard on a bee and making kids in the audience green with envy. That airborne glee turned to shock when Rick Moranis tried to kill them with a bat. Talk about traumatizing. This scene was so awesome that there’s a Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground at Disney Hollywood Studios in which you can re-enact it.
“We’re never going to find Russ now, and It’s all your stupid dad’s fault.”
While most evil insect movies are campy, Candyman was truly terrifying. Opening a jacket to reveal a chest filled with buzzing bees was bad enough, but I had nightmares about the moment Candyman opened his mouth an bees poured out. I had to watch Sandlot‘s pool scene a dozen times just to be ok with the idea of mouth-to-mouth again. Not even Squints and Wendy Peffercorn could get that image out of my mind though.
Thomas J Sennett was just a brave young boy trying to win over his new love after getting to first base with her in a tree. It may be harsh to put the death of Macaulay Culkin in My Girl so high on this list, but I had a crush on Anna Chlumsky so I was happy to have the competition eliminated. It’s funny to think that the Wet Bandits spent an entire movie trying to accomplish what a few bees did in just a couple seconds. Where was Marley with his shovel when Macaulay really needed him?
“Ow, ahh, NO!, Get away!!!”
1 Wicker Man – Bees in a Cage
Neither words nor pictures can do justice to Nicholas Cage’s bee scene in Wicker Man.
Gennady Golovkin is a beast of a fighter. The 31-year-old middleweight champion is known in some parts as the “Russian Mike Tyson” with a beastly 88% knockout rate. And now you can win an autographed glove from him and his upcoming opponent Matthew Macklin.
In honor of the undefeated Golovkin’s championship fight against Macklin on HBO next Saturday, June 29th, we’ll be giving away the autographed glove that won’t make you a better fighter, but will give you a cool thing to put on a mantle (or pawn for drugs…your call, really).
All you have to do is enter via the application below. You get bonus entries if you “LIKE” Guyism on Facebook and if you FOLLOW @guyism on Twitter.
Could we be any more generous? Not without actually giving you the blood from our bodies.
Enter NOW! And tune in to Golovkin v. Macklin Saturday, June 29th at 9:45 p.m. Eastern only on HBO.
Is it magic or science? Either way, you can turn a perfectly normal looking Coke into a delicious self-freezing slushie in a matter of seconds with this easy trick. Of course that’s a few seconds after a few hours in the freezer.
I don’t drink many Slurpees these days, but it’s nice to know I could make my own with ease. Those machines at 7-11 always suck and aren’t frozen enough anyway, so why bother? Next time I’m in NYC I’m going to stick a 2-liter in a buddy’s freezer for a few hours, then casually walk past Mayor Bloomberg sipping out of my 68 ounce deliciously sugary drink with a swizzle straw. That will show him what I think of his stupid jumbo drink ban.
Don Draper quotes might be the only thing you’ll ever need to hear in order to grow up as a *well adjusted male. In fact, I should probably stop here, because Don Draper quotes are so alpha that no man ever posted on this site will ever match up to the core-cutting ability of the words that come ouf of his mouth. We here at Guyism love Mad Men, and in turn we honor Don Draper quotes. So without further ado, here’s a simple guidebook for the rest of your life…
Popular quotes can serve both as a reminder of humility, a source of humor and a catalyst of inspiration. So if popular quotes is what you fancy then be sure to check out past editions of this post here.
Social media sites are ruining the dating process. Before you go out with someone, you can look up their past and present via Google, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. You are literally stripping the discovery process out of dating.
Another week, another stellar video from our friends over at Kaloopy Media. And this week they’ve got something completely new. Kaloopy has just launched a new video series called “The Bicycle Diaries” which as you can and will see features lovely models like Laura Leary here (who you can follow on Instagram) and some very cool bicycles. Have they done it again, or have they done it again?
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon‘s video game week hasn’t done much for me, but when The Roots’ Tariq laid down lyrics to the Super Mario Bros theme song, I wanted to stand up and clap like an idiot at the end of a movie.
There have been a few rap songs written over the Super Mario beat, but none to my knowledge that would directly apply to the game. This needs to become the theme song for Super Mario & Friends Battle Tennis 42, or whatever the next game in the franchise is.
You may know not who King Mo is but you will certainly remember this knockout blow that some are calling the most vicious in MMA history. The brutal shoot took place last night at Bellator 96 against Seth Petruzelli.
Nine of King Mo’s ten wins have come via knockout. I can see why. By the way, Seth Petruzelli is alive and well—I think. Actually, I have no clue. He could be laid up in hospital for months after that. I wouldn’t blame him.
In today’s Must See Imagery we have some furry creatures, hilarious memes, sexy photobombs, and more! Aggregating content from the web’s hottest sources: Facebook, Tumblr, Imgur (often via Reddit), amongst others, we’re able to save you those precious man hours that can be used for things like grilling red meat, or wondering who the hell that sexy girl was in that commercial you just saw. If you come across any photos you think should be included in this daily feature then head on over HERE and post them to our Facebook wall, and I’ll be sure to include them (provided they don’t suck, and you actually understand what funny is).
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug just released it’s second trailer, now with 75% fewer barrels.
The 2nd trailer doesn’t contain any new footage and is 36 seconds shorter. I guess that’s good if you’re ridiculously busy and can only commit a minute and a half to watching hobbits and such. Commercial time is expensive though, so this is more likely to turn up while you’re watching TV than the original 2+ minute video. It’s also a good excuse to watch it again because you’d likely forgotten how amazing it looked since the initial teaser last week.
As fans we have the right to turn away when certain athletes play their sports. It doesn’t matter what kind of changes they hope to make, because these will forever be the ugliest sights in sports.
Arianny Celeste is back with another edition of her Web series FilmStrip. And this week we’re back to movie trivia as she talks about the upcoming film World War Z. And strips. That too. So are you going to see World War Z? Because this episode of FilmStrip makes it look like it might be a really good film. I mean, sure Arianny Celeste strips off her clothes just like in the past, but the film… the film, man… you quit reading like three sentences ago, didn’t you?
If you want to pretend like you’ve read and understood classic books, Thug Notes is the channel for you. Sparky Sweets, PhD, drops “some of da illest classical literature summary and analysis that you ever heard.”
“Crazy cracker Boo Radley outta nowhere and shanks that fool. Woo! He dead.”
Much like I attempt to do, Thug Notes combines genuinely useful information with entertainment. He’s already far more successful at the endeavor though. I feel like I could now fake the funk with Crime Punishment, which is the only one of his three videos that I’ve never actually read. Hopefully at some point he starts mixing in a few classic movies too because there are plenty of those that I only pretend like I’ve seen. Sorry, Casablanca, I just don’t care.
This is your Michael Cera. This is your Michael Cera on drugs. Any questions? One of the more interesting indies coming out this Fall is Crystal Fairy, the new flick from Chilean director Sebastián Silva. Michael Cera, who seems really busy these days, stars as an American stoner hanging out in Chile who goes on a hunt for a legendary hallucinogenic cactus and has the trip of his life. It did pretty well at Sundance this year, so we’ll see how accurate it is to the experience when it opens on July 12th.
Image may be NSFW.
Image may be NSFW.
Image may be NSFW.
