John Mayer is cool, you guys. He reads the Internet just like us. But how do we know! Here’s how: He’s got the Prancercise chick in his new video for song “Paper Dolls”. One of us. One of us.
Having a Prancercise video without copious amounts of aged camel toe is like having a birthday cake without candles.
Frankly, I preferred the music in the original Prancercise video anyway. (via Tastefully Offensive)
Our very own Katie Nolan scared of a little bitty mouse headlines tonight’s GIFs.
Welcome to GIFterpiece Theatre–Guyism’s daily installment of the internet’s best GIFs. Check out some of our favorites from the world of celebs, TV, sports and humor.
15 Important message from Don Draper
14 Little mashup by request of @EDSBS
13 Oh baby, you so dumb baby
12 For those of you who called Kelly Brook fat, shame on you
11 So, can you?
10 He probably gets shin splints
9 Nope
8 This is how the Mets lost a no-hitter
7 I’ve been there
6 She does not eat ice cream
5 This is how you prepare for anal sex
4 Oh, let me just kick my feet up
3 Luigi framed him
2 Homemade roller coaster
1 Oh, hi
Miss Utah in a nutshell
Steve Jobs conducted this interview in 1994. It’s about his legacy and, realistically, he didn’t have a whole lot of a legacy yet. Maybe this’ll inspire you to greater things.
Steve Jobs’ real unrecognized legacy? Fully buttoned denim shirts. Hipsters around the world are in his debt. (via Business Insider)
Food Network
If you’re surprised by this, you shouldn’t be. So about a year ago, a woman named Lisa Jackson, an employee of Uncle Bubba’s Oyster and Shrimp House, sued the restaurant’s owner for harassment. That owner? None other than celebrity chef Paula Deen. The suit alleged that Deen’s brother Bubba sexually harassed employees and made racist jokes and Paula herself liked to use the N-word a lot.
The suit, which was for $1.2 million, came close to the chef’s revelation that she has Type 2 diabetes (in part because of the horrific food she cooks), and some thought it was just a publicity stunt. The chef denied everything to the press, and for a while, it looked like the suit would get thrown out of court, letting Deen and her co-owner brother off scott free.
Well, that ain’t happening now. According to Radar Online, Deen was deposed on May 17th in a session that lasted three hours and was videotaped. Under oath, she admitted to using the N-word multiple times, giving examples, and admits to telling racial jokes about Blacks, Jews and more.
Oh, and she also planned a wedding where all the waiters were Black people dressed as slaves. Because that is a totally appropriate and cool thing to do in 2013.
But it’s her brother who really gets the shaft – he also spends some time in front of the camera, confessing to referring to President Obama multiple times using the ol’ N-word. Paula also threw him under the bus during the session, telling her interrogators that he’s addicted to cocaine, alcohol and pornography. With these revelations, it’s looking more and more likely that Lisa Jackson’s going to walk away with a healthy payday when this sucker finally makes it to court – if the Deen’s don’t settle first.
SI Extra Mustard
The ever-self-aware Kanye West referred to himself as “the Michael Jordan of music.” But the world is littered with examples of standouts alleging that they’re like Mike.
Instagram has opened up a whole new world for beautiful women to get noticed. Instead of having to hire a PR firm, they now can just post their pictures on the Internet and people will follow them.
Today we take a look at one such woman in Logan Melissa.
Logan on Instagram: @heightfiveseven
She has over 3,500 followers, but once you see what she does and how creatively she does it you’ll realize that number should be much higher.
Logan, who runs the Web site HeightFiveSeven, is one of the more creative models we’ve seen on Instagram. What makes her unique is that she pays tribute to various album covers by posing with them while wearing bikinis and other assorted sexy outfits. She even usually provides a quick little story to go with each picture. And it doesn’t appear as if she’s going to have any problem continuing to do this because as she says, “I got a thousand old records in my crib.” Since I know you’ll now be following her on Instagram, as you should, you might as well go ahead and follow her on Twitter and Facebook as well.
Are you or do you know someone who is “Hot on Instagram“? Drop us an email with the subject line “Hot on Instagram” to be considered for publication.
Want to see more women who kill it on Instagram? Just click here and here.
Photo credit: Logan Melissa, Instagram
Hundreds of Heat fans left American Airlines arena before the final buzzer sounded. They missed out on a dramatic comeback, one for the ages. Several tried to get back in only to be denied. We’ve captured these dramatic moments and set them to appropriate music.
Chicago–If you leave me now
Sarah McLahlan—I will remember you
Jojo—Leave
Fleetwood Mac—Go your own way
Steam—Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye
FX
I’ve posted about both the C-word and the N-word today. What’s next, the F-word? So after FX picked up Anger Management for a staggering 90 episodes, the team behind the show shifted into high gear – to meet that demand, they’re filming a staggering 50 episodes a year, a production schedule that would tax even the most stable mind.
Charlie Sheen, of course, isn’t the most stable mind. Reports from the set have him showing up hours late to tapings every day, making the rest of the cast and crew wait for him. On a normal production schedule, this would be annoying enough, but when you’re literally racing against time to get all of your contractually-obligated episodes in the can before your star loses his mind again, it’s outright dangerous. Sheen’s costars sucked it up and dealt with it, since he’s also an executive producer on the show, but eventually it got to be too much for Selma Blair, the show’s female lead.
Deadline has the whole story, and it’s a doozy. Blair spoke up to the show’s producers after not being able to take the delays anymore, and in response Sheen sent her a text message where he called her a c-nt and fired her on the spot. Classy, dude. The show has already put out a casting notice for a new lead actress, although she won’t be taking on Blair’s therapist role.
The show isn’t really looking good moving forward for FX or Lionsgate – it debuted with 5.7 million viewers and has tanked to just a little over 10% of that number, 600,000 watchers as of the last episode. That’s a terrifying nosedive, and it should make people very scared of making deals like this in the future. But then, if you’re crazy enough to make any kind of deal with Charlie Sheen, you deserve all the suffering you get.
“Channing is the best!” – Jamie Fox. That perfectly sums up the sexy lady-filled music video for “(I Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.” I would certainly channing all over Miley Cyrus and Olivia Munn’s Tatum. I loved the song when Jimmy Kimmel first aired it after the Oscars, but a music video with those two makes it 100x better.
I typically hate short hair on women, but Miley Cyrus is doing it for me right now. Maybe Maxim wasn’t trolling as after all when they named her Sexiest Woman in the World.
In this week’s Facebook Idiocy we take a look at some people who share way too much, grammar catastrophes, socially oblivious people, and more! Every week on the Internet we see screen shots of unfortunate interactions on everybody’s favorite social network, Facebook. If we’re lucky enough we actually get to encounter these hilarious lapses of judgment but alas we are not all so lucky. But don’t despair, we here at Guyism are now offering you the very best in weekly Facebook mishaps. Whether you’re looking for the funniest Facebook fails, ultimate Facebook cringe, or enjoy seeing some Facebook win, I’ll try to provide a bit of everything here. So contrary to the name, you may in fact find some hilarious Facebook statuses here that don’t necessarily fall into the idiotic category.
If you enjoyed this and want more funny content then go like us on Facebook for an endless stream of hilarity.
PhotoCredits: Facebook Screenshots
In today’s Guyism Speed Round, Katie Nolan discusses a creatively groomed dog contest, a suit of armor made for a guinea pig, and more!
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Missed an episode? See all of the recent Guyism Speed Rounds here.
Post Grad Problems
So you want to go to law school, huh? Get ready to have people you barely know walk up and ask you if you’re okay after class.
Courtney Stodden got a boob job the other day, boosting them up to a DD, and like every normal person out there she had it all caught on video for posterity. Your move, Farrah Abraham. Yes, it’s apparently boob job Wednesday.
As Courtney tells E! —
“I just went and got my breasts to a double D and I feel very confident.”
“I was wearing Victoria’s Secret bras, I was giving people the illusion that I was actually two cup sizes bigger than I actually was.”
“I love the way my shape looks, it looks more Jessica Rabbit-y, and it just makes me feel more sexy, more like a woman.”
Of course her husband/grandad Doug Hutchison didn’t much like the idea of Courtney getting surgery, but he eventually came around. I’m sure that was a really tough sell. Sadly she can no longer tell everyone how “real” they are.
And here’s video of Courtney actually going into boob surgery…
Can’t get enough Courtney Stodden? (And who can?) We’ve got more right here.
Courtney Stodden Talks Boob Job: “I Feel More Confident” [E!]
Yellow Jacket’s new iPhone case can sling 650,000 volts of stunning capability at an interloper. So here it is being tested by the company’s CEO on two journalists from Free Enterprise.
I was not quite so impressed with the stun gun. I’ve spent a fair amount of time watching stun gun videos and I know that a stun gun is supposed to take you down, leave you twitching, and maybe make you wet your pants. I’m seeing none of those things here and, as a result, I will continue to use my smartphone for its intended purpose: Googling actresses’s names paired with the word “nude.” (via Business Insider)
TNT
Yes, I’m a Franklin & Bash fine and frankly, you should be too. There’s literally nothing else on TV worthwhile except the Stanley Cup Finals.
Franklin & Bash @ 9pm, TNT: The brotastic lawyer duo of Franklin & Bash are back for another summer of legal debauchery.
Necessary Roughness @ 10pm, USA: Sure, why not.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson @ 12:37am, CBS: Rosie Perez and here annoyingly sexy voice is Craig’s guest tonight.
Stanley Cup Finals @ 8pm, NBC: Not necessarily a must-game for the Blackhawks but coming back against this Bruins team would prove difficult.
I think this is a pretty good idea, personally. Show’s not bad either. It’s obvious that the pay cable networks are home to some of the best shows on TV right now, but man, it sucks to pay all that cash out every month. Until they get with the digital age, the next best thing is when they put episodes up on YouTube to sell us on the shows. Ray Donovan is a new Showtime drama starring Liev Schrieber as a Hollywood “fixer” who makes problems go away for the rich and famous – but when his Dad (Jon Voight) gets out of jail, things get crappy real fast. The whole first episode is up (legally) on YouTube for free, and the season premieres on June 30th.
In today’s Must See Imagery for Hump Day we have some excellent photobombs, furry rascals, gorgeous women, and more! Aggregating content from the web’s hottest sources: Facebook, Tumblr, Imgur (often via Reddit), amongst others, we’re able to save you those precious man hours that can be used for things like grilling red meat, or wondering who the hell that sexy girl was in that commercial you just saw. If you come across any photos you think should be included in this daily feature then head on over HERE and post them to our Facebook wall, and I’ll be sure to include them (provided they don’t suck, and you actually understand what funny is).
BroBible
The amount of cash you roll is something that MAY give you an advantage, but it’s not in any way a requirement. It will, however, help you attract the kind of women you DON’T want. Here’s why.
Carl’s Jr. is back with another sexy commercial, this time featuring one Jenny McCarthy. Why Jenny McCarthy? Because bewbs. Following in the sexy footsteps of Heidi Klum, Nina Agdal, Sara Jean Underwood, Kate Upton and more, Jenny McCarthy goes a slightly different route with this Carl’s Jr. video as she does her salivating over a salad. The Cranberry Apple Walnut Grilled Chicken Salad to be exact. I especially liked the part where they showed her with the word “Actress” superimposed. I wondered what she did for a living these days. That being said, it’s Jenny McCarthy and therefore bewbs so it’s pretty good. Stay tuned her for the full commercial when it comes out in a couple of days.
Want a little more Jenny McCarthy? We’ve got a little more right here.
Photo credit: YouTube/Carl’s Jr.
I’m not a numbers guy, but Lego might be the most successful toy of all time. Who knew simple blocks could take over the world to the extent that they have. Now we even have a trailer for 2014 blockbuster, The Lego Movie.
The synopsis is pretty simple. An ordinary guy is thought to be the Master Builder who can save the Lego universe (so basically Neo) from an villain who wants to glue all the blocks together. The best part of this is that for the rest of their lives, Will Arnett can say he’s Batman and Channing Tatum can claim to be Superman.
Unless you were a Mega Bloks short-busser, Legos (there technically isn’t a plural for Lego) were likely your favorite toy at some point. There was something simplistically awesome about building things then smashing them to pieces only to build something else. The brand grew far larger than tiny-Colin ever could have expected though. Through various partnerships and licensing, we now have video games, board games, theme parks, retail stores, TV shows, and even movies.
