Man of Steel‘s Superman Henry Cavill dumped Gina Carano in favor of Kaley Cuoco. We love Kaley here but feel this is a poor tradeoff. Take a look at these Gina Carano GIFs and tell us if you agree.
With David Stern no longer doing the NBA Draft after this year let’s take a look back at some of the draftees who nailed it on Draft Night and some who plain shot an airball during his era.
Having one kid sounds like a nightmare, and Vince Vaughn is about to have 533 of them. His character in the Delivery Man trailer handles the news much better than I would. Thankfully my life doesn’t lack meaning so I wouldn’t be tempted to be a father to all those kids that I’ve scattered around the country. I’d be buying jumping the fence to sneak into Mexico the second I got that sort of information.
The premise seems a little dumb since the kids finding out Vince Vaughn is their father doesn’t mean he has to give a shit about them, but the movie still looks good. I imagine it will be a feel good movie with a little comedy thrown in, though I’m not sure where the real entertainment will be. Family reunion duel with Roscoe Jenkins’ family, maybe?
So have you caught the Magnum Ice Cream commercial called “As Good As Gold” with actor Joe Manganiello and some sexy Brazilian actress? Want to know who that sexy Brazilian actress is? Her name is Caroline Correa and you’ll never believe this, but she’s not only an actress she’s also a model! (Isn’t every woman from Brazil a model?) You may remember Caroline Correa from the film The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift where she played, wait for it…”Sexy Brazilian Model.” She was also in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith where she played “Bail Organa’s Aide #1.” Other than that she hasn’t really been in any other big films, but this Magnum Ice Cream ad campaign appears to be quite the job since there is a 30-second spot, a 60-second spot, a short film, and a behind the scenes video. You can check them all out below. And you should. Girl is gorgeous. (And she’s on Twitter and Facebook, too!)
From skirt steak to filet and select to kobe beef, there is plenty you need to know just to buy a steak. These simple lessons will point you in the right direction and ensure you get the right meat for your grill.
A hot girl in a skimpy outfit is tripping balls at the Electric Daisy Carnival can’t understand a single thing going on with the guy wearing a horse mask in front of her. Frankly, I don’t blame her.
The video would have been perfect if not for the camerawoman’s disapproving head shake. When you’re pumped full of drugs wearing a furry hat and your underwear, you try not being confused as shit when a guy wearing a horse head mask starts bobbing his head at you. Let she who is with drugs and hot outfits cast the first stones.
Sorry all you Penny boyfriend wannabes, but Kaley Cuoco is now dating Henry Cavill, AKA Superman. Good luck trying to be more attractive to a woman than the Man of Steel. And even more intimidating is the fact that Henry Cavill was dating Gina Carano right before moving on to Kaley Cuoco, so you know he’s a badass dude.
Tune in to the latest edition of the Guyism Podcast for an hour long interview with Katie about her time with Guyism, her thoughts on everything, and more on her new job.
We’ll announce who’s replacing Katie as the new host of the Speed Round next week! Subscribe on YouTube for more.
If you’re not familiar with Tumblr by now, it’s time to get with it. In our ongoing quest to bring you the weirdest (YouTube Comments) and best (Facebook Idiocy) content from the Internet’s social media juggernauts, today we’re jumping into the deep end of the Tumblr pool. Keeping with the same themes of our Facebook Idiocy and YouTube Comments features, Tumblr’s Best is the combination of both weird and hilarious that you’ve been looking for. If you’re not already following Guyism on Tumblr be sure to go check us out at Live.Guyism.com for an endless stream of hilarity and some questionable content that might not be suitable for the parent site.
I don’t know anything about Danielle Campbell. At first glance she seems like a lovely, talented anchor for News 12 Long Island. But she needs some sleep—or some caffeine—or some way to deal with her impending narcolepsy. While reporting about Serena’s loss at Wimbledon, Campbell momentarily loses her spot and almost passes out in the process.
Another lame Tuesday night you say? How dare you sir? Season finale of Inside Amy Schumer is a must-watch.
Inside Amy Schumer @ 10:30pm, Comedy Central: Season finale features Amy giving sex tips. They must work because she ends up having a threesome.
Rizzoli & Isles @ 9pm, TNT: Because Franklin & Bash isn’t on and you need your fill of TNT nonsense.
Big Brother @ 9pm, CBS: I don’t know a single person who watches this show. Not a single one. And yet, it’s always in the top 30 watched shows weekly. How?
Jimmy Kimmel Live @ 11:37pm, ABC: Quiet week on the late night front but Adam Corrolla stops by Kimmel tonight and he’s always entertaining.
The Aaron Hernandez back story now includes a Tim Tebow component because of course it does. Back in 2007, Tebow tried breaking up a fight between Hernandez and a bouncer at a Gainesville bar. At time, the two were teammates at Florida. Hernandez ended up breaking the man’s ear drum as he walked away from the confrontation. Sadly, Tebow was not able to heal him.
“Tebow stated that he witnessed the dispute,” the officer wrote. “… Tebow stated that he went over to try to help resolve the conflict.”
Tebow went on to say he urged Hernandez to leave peacefully and tried to make arrangements to pay the bill.
Two hours later, another officer found Hernandez and spoke with him about the incident. Tebow was present during the interview.
The officer wrote Hernandez did not appear to be intoxicated and was, “very polite and professional.”
Hernandez told the officer both he and Tebow had already called then-UF football coach Urban Meyer and informed him about the incident.
A transcript of that phone call, probably:
Tebow: “Hey coach, Aaron punched a guy.” Meyer: “Again?” Tebow: “Yea.” Meyer: “Is the guy hurt bad?” Tebow: “Nah, just a broken ear drum.” Meyer: “Ok, see you at practice tomorrow.”
(In 2007, Florida led the nation with 12 arrests. This makes 13. How many more did Urban hide?)
In today’s Must See Imagery we have some hilarious demotivational posters, gorgeous women, perfectly timed photos, and more! Aggregating content from the web’s hottest sources: Facebook, Tumblr, Imgur (often via Reddit), amongst others, we’re able to save you those precious man hours that can be used for things like grilling red meat, or wondering who the hell that sexy girl was in that commercial you just saw. If you come across any photos you think should be included in this daily feature then head on over HERE and post them to our Facebook wall, and I’ll be sure to include them (provided they don’t suck, and you actually understand what funny is).
You may not be a huge fan of these players, but trust me, they’re definitely worth the price of admission. These are the athletes that you absolutely must see play live and in person.
Last night Dell held a party at the Staples Center for Beyonce’s “Miss Carter World Tour” concert in Los Angeles. Of course, many sexy female celebrities were on hand. It is L.A. after all. Among those in attendance (pictured above) were Lea Michele, Bella Thorne, Naya Rivera, Brittany Snow, Karina Smirnoff, and Tiffani Thiessen. Dell sure does know how to throw a party. (Chris Colfer, Derek Hough, Big Sean, Jason Alexander, Tyler Hoechlin, Chris Evans, and Seth Rogen were there too, but who cares, amirite?)
Johnny Depp has carved out quite a career for himself and now The Lone Ranger is almost upon us. So what can we expect to see from Mr. Depp in this new action-adventure film? Based on this supercut it’ll involve him making a lot of strange faces. Can you name all of the films in which Johnny Depp is making these faces? If not, here’s the list: Edward Scissorhands (1990), Benny & Joon (1993), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998), Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007), Alice in Wonderland (2010), Rango (2011), and The Rum Diary (2011).
The only thing worse than walking the crowded streets of a major metropolitan area this summer is doing so while having to go to the bathroom. It’s a little too easy to brush this aside as a non-issue but when you’re in downtown NYC or Chicago and you get called to action, it’s good to have a list of establishments that can provide adequate facilities for your, situation. So after a few cups of coffee, a cigarette, and a smoothie, here is a list of 7 places that can help you find relief.
7 McDonald’s
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Flickr/Divine Harvester
The reason McDonalds is often a better option than a Starbucks is because everyone and their mothers are in line to use the bathroom at Starbucks. Also, everyone acknowledges that there is a whole sub-sect of people who come into Starbucks just to use the bathroom and the actual customers recognize you as one of them. I don’t need their judgement. In McDonalds there’s never a line and nobody cares if you’re there just to use the toilet. They’ve got bigger problems, they’re dining in at a McDonalds.
6 Bars
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Flickr/Kevin H
The beauty of walking into a bar is the anonymity. No one will question you as long as you meander towards the bar, pause and redirect yourself towards the bathroom. Often there’s no need for theatricality, you can just b-line towards the stalls. Not a great bet for much more than taking a leak, but definitely a great go-to. And surprisingly the bar option is viable at almost any hour of the day, but not recommended before 1pm.
5 Restaurants
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Flickr/Labmove
Ahhh restaurants. We all know they have great bathrooms but they are also the most heavily guarded. The cat and mouse game between the staff and the non-paying toilet defiler is as old as toilets themselves. Your main obstacle is the host or hostess. This person is the gate keeper. They head you off at the pass and ask what your intentions are for their restaurant. You either have to be very crafty or choose restaurants with very lax or no hostess presence.
4 Museums
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Flickr/Mountainbread
Museums are hit and miss and a bit of a risk because of the valuable time you spend searching for a bathroom that may not exist. If there’s no bathroom in the main lobby it might not be worth buying a ticket to get in. But many museums are free and ask for a suggested donation. So whether you pay or not, you can get a ticket and waltz in. Also, there’s no better time to contemplate a Picasso than after you’ve just relieved yourself. It’s a moment ripe for epiphanies.
3 Church/Synagogue/Mosque
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Flickr/Wendall F
There’s nothing blasphemous about going into a house of worship to sit on their throne as long as it’s done with respect. Keep your voice to a whisper and if you’re stopped by clergymen or women just simply say that you were curious and wanted to come inside to take a look around. That “look around” will, god willing, lead you to the bathroom. I warn against stopping into a Scientology center though, you’ll end up playing 21 questions and may never get out of there.
2 The Local School or University
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Flickr/Mr. T in DC
While I wouldn’t necessarily recommend wandering into a grammar school (there’s probably laws against it), but if there is a nearby college, university, or community college this can be a winner. If you can find the main administrative building this will be your best bet. The buildings with classrooms will most likely require an I.D. scan to get in, but the admissions office and visitors center will be smooth sailing. Also, pick up a copy of the school newspaper on your way to the stall.
1 The Swank Hotel Lobby Bathroom
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
Flickr/Marchi Contract
If you can find a hotel nearby this is a goldmine. The perfect sanctuary for any situation. The doorman will great you cheerfully, you can pick up a copy of USA today and make your way to their sparkling facilities. Usually quiet and free from heavy foot traffic, this is an ideal scenario. Just be careful not to look too confused as to where you are and where you’re going. This will require you to utilize your instincts and years of training.
Welcome to GIFterpiece Theatre–Guyism’s daily installment of the internet’s best GIFs. Check out some of our favorites from the world of celebs, TV, sports and humor.
15 Gina Carano undressing and faints (click through for more Gina Carano)
Once again, the 4th of July is upon us and with that comes the responsibility of celebrating this most patriotic of holidays in a fashion befitting the grandeur of this great American nation. Sure, you’ve got the picnics, fireworks shows that are the same year after year, and the boring speeches by mayors and presidents, but collectively, we’re all better than that, aren’t we? It’s time for Americans everywhere to stand up and show the rest of the world how much we love our country, and there’s no better way to do this than with one of these eight awesomely patriotic ways to celebrate the 4th of July.
The first step in honoring America on its birthday is to celebrate your own independence from your job (at least for a day) by getting so drunk that you forget you ever even had a job in the first place. I’m talking pants-pissingly drunk. You just know that’s how Ben Franklin celebrated the 4th every year. If you’re feeling truly patriotic, you could always stick to a good old fashioned American beer or even better, celebrate alongside a truly patriotic American icon like Mr. Jack Daniels. But don’t stress too much about what you’re drinking. After all, America has always been a nation of immigrants and it’s important to recognize the contributions different cultures have made to our collective intoxication, and if that means downing vodka shots before noon then, well, that’s just what you’ve gotta do.
Sure, you can always buy the cheap fireworks that your kids light off on the lawn that fizzle and die faster than Benedict Arnold’s sense of loyalty (topical humor!) but America deserves better than that. America deserves the expensive and probably illegal fireworks that you have to go across state lines to get and which will probably leave you missing one of your thumbs. America deserves fireworks that will shock and awe your neighbors, the kind that will make them retreat to their cellars because they’re afraid a nuclear bomb just went off. Because let’s face it, there is nothing more American than blowing shit up.
Canada and the United States have always been siblings. The U.S. is the older brother who fought with their parents the whole time and then got in a fistfight with dad before running off to join the army and then enrolling in college and becoming the CEO of his own thriving business. Canada is the younger brother who just sat in his room all the time and did whatever dad told him until he went to a hippie college paid for by dad and then moved back above the garage where he works on his music and sometimes watches afternoon soaps with mom when he’s not playing in his hockey rec league. It’s about time big brother rolled up in his Hummer and blasted a little reminder of what independence really sounds like. Sure, the Canadians will probably just look at you puzzled for a moment and then shrug their shoulders or maybe even laugh, but that’s just because they’re jealous. Jealous of freedom!
What’s more American than baseball? Well, other than blowing shit up and casual racism, but those don’t have their own professional league, unless of course you count Congress as a professional league. And so what you’re left with is baseball. With the sun shining, it’s a perfect way to spend a relaxing 4th of July afternoon. Okay, okay, so the game itself is kind of boring but that’s not the point. The point is that you get to sit outside for a few hours, drink and yell at millionaires for not hitting a small ball with a stick properly. Choke down a few hotdogs and then vomit all over the person in front of you. And while security leads you out to a chorus of laughter and cheers, be proud that you have just cleared your palate – and your stomach – so that you can celebrate America long into the night.
Quick history lesson because we’re all about education here at Guyism: Back in the day, a popular 4th of July tradition was the creation of massive bonfires. Towns and villages would compete to see who could create the biggest. The largest ever recorded, with over 40 tiers of barrels, were the bonfires of Salem, Massachusetts (give Salem credit, once they get good at something they ride that son of a bitch all the way to the top. Barrels, witches… it all burns the same I guess.) I think it’s time to revive that tradition. After all, what better way to show the world that America is number one other than by showing our mastery of fire? Sure, that’s something even a caveman could pull off, but America isn’t about to take a backseat to some Eurotrash caveman. No, we burn shit bigger and better than anyone. It is our reason for being and it’s about time we remember that.
America is the land of opportunity and so why not take this opportunity to put giant wheels on your truck, paint it red, white and blue and tear ass down the middle of Main Street for everyone to gawk at? Maybe get some girls in red, white and blue bikinis, or even better yet red, white and blue body-paint, and have them in the back of the truck throwing candy at all the kids or something. I don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud here, it’s just an idea. Run over any puny foreign cars you see on the street, maybe hire that “Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!” commercial announcer to hang out in the passenger seat and holler at people through a megaphone. Sure, you’ll probably end up getting tasered by the cops, but America is all about civil disobedience and taking a stand for the right cause. It’s what our forefather’s would do.
If you’re not grilling something on the 4th of July chances are the NSA has a file on you somewhere because clearly your patriotism is questionable at best. But rather than just grilling the usual hot dogs and hamburgers, don’t be afraid to really go for it and grill anything and everything you can think of. Order a pizza and then throw it on the grill for a few minutes before eating it. Spray some lighter fluid on that bird that wakes you up at five in the morning every day and then toss it on the grill. This is not a time to worry about what’s edible and what’s not. This is about making a statement, about honoring what America is all about. Grill baby, grill!
This one should be obvious. What better way to celebrate America’s independence from the British than by beating one of them up? It’s quite literally what George Washington would have done. I do recognize that chances are you might have some trouble finding a proper Englishman of your own to beat up, especially if you live in, like, Kansas or somewhere like that so as a compromise, just punch out the first person you see wearing red. But always remember, wait until you see the whites of their eyes before doing it. It’s what George Washington would have wanted.
