BLESS_PICTURES, Flickr
People say dumb shit all the time. We hear it at work, at home, on TV, on Facebook, on Twitter, on the radio and in plenty of other places, too. A lot of the time we hear people say the same meaningless, ridiculous things over and over again. Here are some of the stupidest things people say. What’s your least favorite?
Photo credit: BLESS_PICTURES, Flickr
7 You Only Live Once (YOLO)
Guyism
Example:
“Yes, I will Biggie Size that. You only live once!”
Why it’s useless:
It’s obvious that you only live once except, of course, if you were brought up in a culture that believe in reincarnation. Also, if you keep justifying things by saying YOLO, then you won’t only live just once, but you’ll probably live a very short once.
6 No Offense, But…
Guyism
Example:
“No offense, but that red shirt makes you look like the Kool-Aid guy.”
Why it’s useless:
If you use the word “offense”, you’ve automatically offended the person you’re doing a half-assed job of trying not to offend.
5 It Is What It Is
Guyism
Example:
“I don’t like taking the stairs because I’m fat. I’m also fat because I don’t like taking the stairs. It is what it is.”
Why it’s useless:
When people say that, they sound like they’re depressed or they believe they have no control over anything in their life. It’s basically like saying, “I don’t have the ability to change things for the better, so I accept the shitty hand I’m dealt.” Please don’t pass this enlightening way of thinking down to your children.
4 God Bless You
Guyism
Example:
“God bless you. That was a juicy one!”
Why it’s useless:
People sneeze all the time. It’s not painful (usually), it’s not a bad thing (unless you hit someone with a runaway boogie), it just happens. No one says “bless you” out of genuine concern (if they did it wouldn’t be some pseudo-religious comment, it would be more of an “Are you okay, man?”), people just do it because they feel like they’re being rude by not acknowledging it otherwise.
3 Needless to Say…
Guyism
Example:
“Needless to say, he was killed after the meteor punched a hole through his brain.”
Why it’s useless:
If it’s needless to say…YOU DON’T NEED TO SAY IT.
2 Next Time
Guyism
Example:
“Ah man, sorry I didn’t make it. Next time.”
Why it’s useless:
No one says “next time” except for people who just perpetually say “next time” and have no real motivation to actually do what they said they will “next time.”
1 I’m a Hot Mess
Guyism
Example:
“I’m always such a hot mess after sleeping with an entire bobsledding team.”
Why it’s useless:
If you’re a mess, you aren’t hot. Hot means sexy and if you’re an emotional, unstable wench, then you’re not hot…you’re just a mess.