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The 50 best party cities in the world

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best party cities in the world The 50 best party cities in the world

Stephen, Flickr

Too many people have too many ideas about what makes for a good vacation spot – food, scenery, local history, arts and culture, etc. – but we here at Guyism know you care more about one thing than any other: the partying. Yes, we know you’re looking to have a good time without having to contend with snot nosed brats running around everywhere or grandpa with his camera taking pictures of every old brick in town. And on that note, and because we love you, we’re pleased to bring you this: the 50 best party cities in the world.

50 Chicago, USA

chicago The 50 best party cities in the world

Bert Kaufmann, Flickr

Good beer, good food and lots and lots of young, successful people tends to equal fun, and so it’s no surprise that Chicago earns a spot on this list. In addition to the land based parties, Chicago’s location on Lake Michigan also means lots of boat parties and what better way to sweat out a hangover than by lying on the beach surrounded by girls in bikinis?

49 Pattaya, Thailand

Pattaya The 50 best party cities in the world

jbremer57, Flickr

Pattaya isn’t the world’s top party place – although it does have a thriving nightlife scene – but what it is, is perhaps the most debauched place in the world. It has been referred to as “Sexual Disneyland” and has a reputation as a city that caters to every conceivable sexual appetite. It’s basically the city version of that freaky orgy scene in 300.

48 Lima, Peru

lima The 50 best party cities in the world

Vladimir Terán Altamirano, Flickr

By day, Lima is a great place to unwind and chill on its beautiful beaches. By night, Lima’s club scene comes alive, and will wear you out so that all that day lounging becomes necessary. The Miraflores area in particular is known for its club scene, with places like Gotica and Aura situated along the cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean where you can get drunk just like Pizarro probably did back in the day.

47 Krakow, Poland

krakow The 50 best party cities in the world

David Berkowitz, Flickr

Poland has become a hot spot in recent years behind the old Iron Curtain, and perhaps no place is more party-mad than Krakow. It’s got plenty of bars and nightclubs and the best part is that many of them stay open until the wee hours of the morning, especially in the town’s main square. Just try to avoid making any screen door on battleship jokes.

46 Copenhagen, Denmark

copenhagen The 50 best party cities in the world

Aram Zucker-Scharff, Flickr

It takes a while for Copenhagen to really come alive, but once it does – usually past midnight or so – it stays alive through the night. The people are friendly, and the best part for any young dude is that the ladies in Copenhagen are notoriously, uh, comely.

45 Melbourne, Australia

melbourne The 50 best party cities in the world

Hai Linh Truong, Flickr

Melbourne is known for its thriving nightclub scene, but it also boasts a robust underground scene, including several swinger’s parties if you’re into that sort of thing. The weather in Melbourne isn’t always the best but that just means that instead of relaxing outdoors you can hunker down indoors with your beverage of choice and hundreds of your beautiful friends.

44 Osaka, Japan

osaka The 50 best party cities in the world

Kazunori Matsuo, Flickr

Osaka’s people are known as perhaps the friendliest in Japan, which only adds to an atmosphere that is fueled by the country’s best food and drink. Osaka might not get the headlines of Tokyo, but if you want to indulge your senses in Japan then Osaka is probably the place to be.

43 La Paz, Bolivia

la paz The 50 best party cities in the world

Matthew Straubmuller, Flickr

La Paz is a diverse, cosmopolitan city located high up in the Andes mountains which means that thanks to the elevation, the alcohol tends to hit just a little bit harder. How much of a party city is La Paz? Well, you’ve heard of wine bars, but La Paz actually has underground cocaine bars.

42 Tokyo, Japan

tokyo The 50 best party cities in the world

Joi Ito, Flickr

Osaka is probably more party-oriented per capita than Tokyo, but Tokyo’s sheer size means that there is always somewhere in the city where you can get wild. The people may have a reputation for stoicism, but that just means that everything is just a little bit crazier underneath. No city in the world is more perfect than Tokyo for the wandering soul who just wants to get lost for a while.

41 Reykjavik, Iceland

Reykjavik The 50 best party cities in the world

Bryan Pocius, Flickr

An article in the Washington Post once dubbed Reykjavik as “the king of clubs” which makes sense when you consider the capital of Iceland’s unique mixture of beautiful people locals and the rich young businessmen who flock there on the weekends to indulge in the local, uh, cuisine before heading bleary-eyed back to the boardrooms on Monday. The only thing hotter than Iceland’s thermal pools is its party scene.

40 Marrakech, Morocco

Marrakech The 50 best party cities in the world

YoTuT, Flickr

Marrakech has long been a desert oasis where both the rich come to indulge in debauchery and hippies come to indulge in, well, hippiedom. This unique blend, coupled with the city’s almost ancient feel, provides one of the most unique party atmospheres in the world, with both luxury and seedy no-frills partying available to anyone who wants it.

39 Gothenburg, Sweden

Gothenburg The 50 best party cities in the world

Nico Paix, Flickr

Most people will tell you that Stockholm is the best place to party in Sweden, and while it’s certainly one of the premier Scandinavian party cities, the real partying in Sweden is done in Gothenburg, a port city whose unique location creates a cosmopolitan vibe. This vibe is then harnessed in a thriving club and music scene. Oh, and let’s not forget the notoriously beautiful Swedish women.

38 Thessaloniki, Greece

Thessaloniki The 50 best party cities in the world

Tilemahos, Flickr

Thessaloniki is home to a large student population and wherever there are students there are bound to be some amazing parties. And it’s no different in Thessaloniki, which has the most bars and clubs per capita of any city in all of Europe. Enough said.

37 Cape Town, South Africa

cape town The 50 best party cities in the world

Derek Keats, Flickr

Cape Town has a laid-back vibe perfect for lazing away the day on its beautiful beaches. But at night, the city’s party and club scene comes alive, especially on its famous Long Street, appropriately named given the endless stretch of clubs and bars, perfect for club-hopping. There is something for every taste in Cape Town, from rock bars to electronica, or from grungy, cheap dives to upscale wine and brandy style places.

36 Los Angeles, USA

los angeles The 50 best party cities in the world

jondoeforty1, Flickr

Los Angeles might not be as openly lively as many other cities on this list – one of the reasons for this is the city’s sprawling layout, which makes club-hopping difficult – but it still has several hotspots such as its famous Sunset Strip club scene. The real party allure of L.A. though is its infamous house parties, where the rich and famous mingle and do blow with the ordinary people – provided they know someone of course.

35 Tallinn, Estonia

Tallinn The 50 best party cities in the world

Ari Helminen, Flickr

One of the more underrated cities on this list, Tallinn in recent years has become known as a party hotspot. Situated on the Gulf of Finland, Tallinn has taken advantage of the post-Soviet atmosphere to foster a hot club scene, fueled by both tourist money and the economic advantages of being a port city. Of course, it helps that Tallinn is also home to some of the most beautiful women in the world.

34 Airlie Beach, Australia

Airlie Beach The 50 best party cities in the world

Paleontour, Flickr

A little more unconventional than some of the cities on this list, Airlie Beach has built its reputation on being a Mecca for young backpackers who just want a place to chill for a while and get blasted before exploring Australia’s Whitsunday Islands. Its combination of a rather bohemian atmosphere and a thriving little club scene along the city’s boardwalk makes for a unique combo hard to find anywhere else in the world.

33 Popovka, Ukraine

Popovka The 50 best party cities in the world

Vyacheslav Argenberg, Flickr

Perhaps the most unlikely town on this list, Popovka is one here for one reason: for six weeks every summer it is home to the infamous Kazantip, an electronic dance music festival . The festival is so big that it refers to itself as a “virtual republic” all its own, and for those six weeks Popovka and the area around it are turned into one giant rave. The only reason it isn’t ranked higher is because, well, it only lasts six weeks every year but for those six weeks, it’s the place to be.

32 Belgrade, Serbia

belgrade The 50 best party cities in the world

VasenkaPhotography, Flickr

All you need to know about Belgrade is this – during the NATO airstrikes of the 1990s, the people of Belgrade kept right on partying at an outdoor concert. Now that’s a city dedicated to its partying, and now that the violent times have largely passed, the city as a whole has taken to partying like it’s its job. Once the sun goes down, all of Belgrade seems to wake up – and with a bottle or mug in every hand.

31 Baku, Azerbaijan

baku The 50 best party cities in the world

David Davidson, Flickr

In recent years, Baku has taken advantage of both the fall of the Soviet empire and the massive amounts of oil dollars that have come pouring in to create a bustling party scene. Of course, it also helps that its location on the Caspian Sea makes it an economic and cultural hub in the area. The combination of all of those factors has made Baku the hottest place to party in the Caspian region, a place of utter excess and all the fun that comes with it.

30 Buenos Aires, Argentina

Buenos Aires The 50 best party cities in the world

Javier Cornejo, Flickr

Buenos Aires is known both for its sophisticated nighttime scene and for its wide diversity of clubs. At 1AM the restaurants will be packed with businessmen eating steak dinners and the clubs packed with partygoers. It’s one of the best cities in the world for the night owl.

29 Prague, Czech Republic

prague The 50 best party cities in the world

Moyan Brenn, Flickr

Cheap beer, clubs that go late into the night, gorgeous women – Prague has it all. It’s the perfect city for backpackers to crash for a night or two and just let loose. Prague is exactly what you picture in your head when you picture the prototypical European club, with DJ’s spinning all night long and booze and sex permeating everyone and everything.

28 Sydney, Australia

sydney The 50 best party cities in the world

Jeff Turner, Flickr

Sydney is similar to Melbourne as far as night life goes, but it has a couple of things going for it that give it the edge as far as Aussie party cities go – first of all, the weather is generally better and second, it has several killer beaches so you can sweat your hangover out in style. Plus, it’s been said that Australian women love American men, but I’m sure you don’t care about that at all. Nope, not one bit.

27 London, England

london The 50 best party cities in the world

Dimitry B., Flickr

London will always be a top party city, if only because it’s importance as a city means that so many young, vibrant people end up congregating there. The music scene is, naturally, one of the best in the world and the club scene – especially the underground scene – can stand toe to toe with any other city. It might not be as balls to the wall crazy as some of the places ranked higher, but London will always be a good place to party.

26 Moscow, Russia

moscow The 50 best party cities in the world

Dieter Karner, Flickr

Moscow has become in many ways a hedonist’s playground. The Russian oil boom coupled with the city’s notorious organized crime scene means that many clubs operate like independent fiefdoms, each with their own laws – or lack thereof. And, of course, the women are beautiful. The only things keeping Moscow from being ranked higher is that it can be expensive, you generally have to know somebody to really dig into the city’s party scene, and let’s face it, chances are pretty good that you’ll wind up missing your kidneys after waking up in a dumpster. But hey, that’s just the price to pay for one perfect night.

25 Tel Aviv, Israel

tel aviv The 50 best party cities in the world

Claire Gribbin, Flickr

You generally don’t think “party” and “Israel” in the same sentence, especially when there’s a non-zero chance that you’ll have to dodge a stray rocket or two, but Tel Aviv’s party scene thrives despite all the distractions. The clubs are among the best in the world and the Mediterranean beaches rival those of Miami for sheer hedonistic splendor.

24 Barcelona, Spain

barcelona The 50 best party cities in the world

Moyan Brenn, Flickr

Spain is perhaps the party capital of Europe, and Barcelona is one of that country’s hot spots, frequently partying until sunrise. Unlike many cities, whose parties take some work finding, Barcelona delights in bringing the party to newcomers and all you have to do is walk down the streets and somebody will hand you a leaflet for one of the top clubs. And while some may shun the easy accessibility of Barcelona as a tourist trap, are you really gonna argue with a city that makes it even easier for you to get drunk? I thought not.

23 Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

cabo san lucas The 50 best party cities in the world

Steve McClanahan, Flickr

Cabo is the preeminent party spot on Mexico’s Baja Peninsula. Its beaches are spectacular and its clubs will welcome you with open arms. Cabo was basically built for partying, either on spring break with your friends or during that weeklong blissful vacation when you get to rid yourself of the kids and revel in what’s left of your youth.

22 Madrid, Spain

madrid The 50 best party cities in the world

DavidHT, Flickr

It’s been said that Barcelona is where the tourists go to party while Madrid is the place where all the real Spaniards party. And while that may seem like it makes things more difficult for you, the prospective tourist, you shouldn’t be afraid to let yourself disappear into a purer party experience. Madrid often doesn’t even start the true party until after 2AM but then it rages on through the morning, just in time for the afternoon siesta.

21 Istanbul, Turkey

istanbul The 50 best party cities in the world

Surreal Name Given, Flickr

In recent years, Istanbul has exploded as a premier party city. It’s been said that you can keep the party going in Istanbul 24 hours a day if you want. The music is always pumping, the clubs are packed with dancers and the alcohol is notoriously strong – and all with a killer view of the Bosphorus to top it all off. Istanbul goes hard. Just try to keep up.

20 Montreal, Canada

montreal The 50 best party cities in the world

Mads Bødker, Flickr

Montreal is one of the top party cities in all of North America, boasting an incredible blend of foreign travelers looking to party, bilingual natives and some of the most beautiful women in the world. It has a laid back feel that gives way to a party scene at night that boasts everything from modern nightclubs where you can dance your way to bliss to old school jazz clubs. And for the Americans reading this, it’s just right across the border.

19 Berlin, Germany

berlin The 50 best party cities in the world

Berit, Flickr

Berlin has a little bit of everything, and a whole lot of partying. If there is a city that rivals New York’s “city that never sleeps” status, it’s Berlin, where people can be found partying at all hours. Of course, it’s also the home to one of the best music scenes in the whole world. And hey, what would Germany be without some truly outstanding beer?

18 Sao Paulo, Brazil

sao paulo The 50 best party cities in the world

veebruar, Flickr

Rio might get all the headlines, but Sao Paulo is actually Brazil’s largest city and it more than holds its own against its sexier neighbor. It’s an ugly city but don’t let that turn you off. Dig just a little beneath the surface and you’ll find perhaps the most culturally vibrant city in all of South America, and wherever “culturally vibrant” can be found, “badass partying” usually isn’t far behind.

17 Ayia Napa, Cyprus

Ayia Napa The 50 best party cities in the world

Ivan C, Flickr

Ayia Napa used to be a nice family resort but in recent years it has become known more for being a place where degenerates from all over Europe come to get wild. It’s a natural progression given Ayia Napa’s killer Mediterranean Beaches, and if you learn anything here it’s that where there are amazing beaches there are tons of beautiful women – and lots and lots of awesome nightclubs. If you really want to dive into the scene the beach you want is Nissi Beach. Harbour Beach is bigger but is more family oriented and hey, you’ve got your own family back home and they weren’t invited.

16 Amsterdam, Netherlands

amsterdam The 50 best party cities in the world

Moyan Brenn, Flickr

Amsterdam probably seems slightly underrated here, but that’s just because while it certainly has its share of hotspots its allure isn’t necessarily its late night raves but its relatively carefree attitude towards some of the more, shall we say… seedier sides of the human experience. Still, that’s enough all on its own to make Amsterdam a must-visit for anyone looking to indulge their party gene.

15 St. Tropez, France

st tropez The 50 best party cities in the world

Michael Gwyther-Jones, Flickr

St. Tropez is infamous for being the playground of the rich and beautiful and while chances are you’re neither that doesn’t mean that you can’t crash their party. In the end, when the booze is flowing and the sun is shining bright on a beautiful beach, no one will care how you got there, just that you’re there and you’re there to have fun.

14 Miami, USA

miami The 50 best party cities in the world

Emilio Labrador, Flickr

Miami is Miami. You all know what that means. It means sun, beaches, ridiculously beautiful women, alcohol and, uh, other intoxicants and everything else you might want out of a party experience. Miami parties so hard that most people can’t handle it. It’s just too damn hot – both literally and figuratively.

13 Lagos, Portugal

lagos The 50 best party cities in the world

Jerome Bon, Flickr

Another beach town? Another beach town. But Lagos isn’t just any beach town. No, Lagos is a beach town known for almost unprecedented amounts of insane partying. Twenty-somethings from all over Europe descend on Lagos like zombies, only they crave alcohol and sex rather than brains. Then again, I’m sure someone has actually accidentally eaten a brain or two in Lagos.

12 New York City, USA

new york city The 50 best party cities in the world

(vincent desjardins), Flickr

It’s the city that never sleeps. That about sums it up. While the bars close earlier than in many cities on this list, you can always find a killer after-party or warehouse party to keep things going. New York is also basically the capital of the world and chances are if something cool is going on, it started in New York.

11 Mykonos, Greece

Mykonos The 50 best party cities in the world

ilker ender, Flickr

Mykonos is a heavyweight when it comes to partying. Some of the clubs stay open 24 hours a day and the dancing starts on the beaches during the day and ends up in the clubs at night. Mykonos is basically an island paradise in the Mediterranean, and island paradises always – always – attract their share of party hounds out for a good time.

10 Punta del Este, Uruguay

Punta del Este The 50 best party cities in the world

ilker ender, Flickr

Punta del Este is probably the dark horse of the top ten, the one you’ve probably never heard of, but you should know about it because there aren’t many places on Earth that can beat it for its combination of cool excess and natural beauty. Located where the Atlantic Ocean meets the Rio de Plata, Punta del Este is basically where people from Buenos Aires go when even that badass city isn’t enough for them. It’s an upscale paradise where weekday angels turn into weekend devils.

9 Ios, Greece

ios greece The 50 best party cities in the world

Benjamin Vander Steen, Flickr

Ios pretty much exists as a place for young Europeans to come and party their cares away. It’s one of the birthplaces of modern hedonism and many pay homage to Ios today by flocking to its endless parties. Forget nightclubs, people don’t even bother to leave the beach to get wild in Ios.

8 New Orleans, USA

new orleans The 50 best party cities in the world

Bart Everson, Flickr

Forget all the horror stories you’ve heard about New Orleans because no city in America has as much character – or as relaxed an attitude towards partying – as the Big Easy. People drink day and night, openly and without care, pub crawling down Bourbon Street even during months when nothing’s going on. When the city is home to one of its infamous festivals, though – especially Mardi Gras – things get kicked up a notch and New Orleans becomes the party capital of North America.

7 Bangkok, Thailand

bangkok The 50 best party cities in the world

Jakob Montrasio, Flickr

Bangkok is a lot like Amsterdam in that its appeal doesn’t lie so much with giant parties, but with the endless amount of carnality that is available to anyone with enough money and an absolute lack of conscience. You can lose yourself – and your soul – in Bangkok, and anytime you can talk about a place in terms of soul loss you know that it’s a premier party city.

6 Cancun, Mexico

cancun The 50 best party cities in the world

Candace Nast, Flickr

Spring break, woooooooooooo!!! Half of you reading this had that go through your head as soon as you saw the name Cancun. That pretty much says it all right there, doesn’t it?

5 Koh Phangan, Thailand

full moon party The 50 best party cities in the world

Thomas sauzedde, Flickr

Once a month, the beaches of Koh Phangan on the Gulf of Siam play host to the massive “Full Moon Parties” where DJ’s spin all night long and thousands of people dance and party on the beach all while a giant, gorgeous full moon sits on the horizon. It’s perhaps the world’s biggest – and most awe inspiring – rave.

4 Goa, India

goa The 50 best party cities in the world

Rod Cook, Flickr

Speaking of raves, the venerable Goa, India basically invented the rave. A favorite of hippies for decades, Goa developed the infamous Goa Trance, which is pretty much what people think of when they think of the stereotypical rave. The modern party scene almost originated in Goa. Anytime you can say that, you’ve earned a place of high honor on a list like this.

3 Las Vegas, USA

las vegas The 50 best party cities in the world

Moyan Brenn, Flickr

“Vegas, baby!” “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” “Sin City.” You’ve all heard those before and with good reason. Vegas has marketed itself as the ultimate lost weekend destination and people from all over America flock there hoping to get their own version of The Hangover. You come to Vegas for one reason, and that’s to party harder than you’ve ever partied in your life.

2 Ibiza, Spain

ibiza The 50 best party cities in the world

Ajay Goyal, Flickr

The island of Ibiza is basically the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. The whole island exists just as a place for people to get utterly debauched and do all of the things that they’d never dare to do back home. It’s a madhouse of carnality, with clubs that go through the night featuring world famous DJ’s and beaches that are lined during the day with perfect party people. Go there for a whole summer – or at least until the money runs out – and just follow the party.

1 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Rio de Janeiro The 50 best party cities in the world

Team at Carnaval.com Studios, Flickr

The beaches of Rio might be the most famous in the world with thongs everywhere and people ready and willing to indulge their basest party instincts. For God’s sake, the “Brazilian Wax” originated here. And like New Orleans, Rio takes what’s already a wonderland of hedonism and turns up the dial all the way to 11 when it’s festival time. Yes, the world famous Carnaval happens in Rio and when that’s going on, Rio becomes such a powerful party entity that you’ll be lucky to even get out of the city without dying of dehydration. You can imagine how. It’s basically an orgy of music, drinking and, well, actual orgies. It takes the best parts of every other city on this list and says “You know what, we can do even better.” It’s the world’s party capital for a reason.



(Previously published on August 7, 2013.)


U.S. bobsledder gets stuck in Sochi bathroom, goes Incredible Hulk on the door

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Another day, another problem in Sochi. U.S. bobsledder Johnny Quinn got stuck in a hotel bathroom and had to break himself out. He did so quite violently.

Johnny Quin breaks door U.S. bobsledder gets stuck in Sochi bathroom, goes Incredible Hulk on the door

Twitter/Johnny Quinn


That’s some gold medal brutality right here. They should probably test Quinn for steroids and like, mutant-ism.

Saturday Night Links: Sexy as ever

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8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

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classic cocktail recipes list 8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

Bartender image by Shutterstock

Have you ever peered into your cocktail glass, swirled its contents, taken a sip and then pondered the meaning of life as its flavors merged with your very consciousness? No? Well then put down your Long Island Iced Teas and Rum and Cokes and check out our picks for some of men’s finest classic cocktails.

8 Dry Martini

dry martini 8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

Martini image by Shutterstock

What it is – The Dry Martini is a drink as strong as it is classy – and it’s not for the faint of heart.

11 parts gin

3 parts dry vermouth



Makes you feel like – Your word is your James Bond.

7 Mint Julep

mint julep 8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

Mint Julep image by Shutterstock

What it is – Served almost ceremonially for Kentucky Derby attendees, the Mint Julep is a part of American tradition.

3 oz. bourbon whiskey

Granulated sugar (to taste)

Sprigs of mint leaves (to taste)

Makes you feel like – Rocking back and forth on your wrap-around porch in the Deep South, listening to the birds chirp while gently petting your double-barrel, sawed-off, flip-action shotgun.

6 Manhattan

manhattan 8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

Manhattan image by Shutterstock

What it is – It’s a trip back in time in a glass; the Manhattan was the drink of choice for many at the turn of the century.

2 oz. Whiskey

1/2 oz. sweet vermouth

1 cup ice cubes

1 maraschino cherry

1 dash bitters

Makes you feel like – You’re closing a shady, Prohibition-era business deal.

5 Old Fashioned

old fashioned 8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

Old Fashioned image by Shutterstock

What it is – Even at the turn of the 20th century the right way of making this sweet, bitter, fruity, Bourbon-y drink involved doing it the old-fashioned way. That’s seriously how old-fashioned it is.

2 tsp. simple syrup

1 tsp. water

2 dashes bitters

1 cup ice cubes

1.5 oz. bourbon whiskey

1 slice orange

1 maraschino cherry

Makes you feel like – A cocktail historian.

4 Tom Collins

tom collins 8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

Tom Collins image by Shutterstock

What it is – Sour, fizzy and refreshing – this was your grandpa’s favorite drink.



3 parts gin

2 part lemon juice

1 part simple syrup

4 part seltzer

Makes you feel like – The father of American mixology.

3 Rusty Nail

rusty nail 8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

Rusty nail image by Shutterstock

What it is – Incredibly simple, yet undeniably powerful, the Rusty Nail was a common concoction served in New Orleans in the late 60’s.

Crushed ice

5 parts Drambuie

9 parts scotch

Twist of lemon (optional)

Makes you feel like – A hard-nosed badass.

2 Vieux Carre

What it is – Named after a Creole neighborhood in New Orleans, this is not something most modern bars will have the ingredients for.

3/4 oz. rye whiskey

3/4 oz. cognac

3/4 oz. sweet vermouth

1/2 tsp benedictine

2 dashes bitters

Makes you feel like – You’re back in NOLA’s French Quarter, circa 1936.

1 Scotch in a Glass

scotch 8 classic cocktails for men (and how to make them)

Scotch image by Shutterstock

What it is –

There really isn’t a drink that better encapsulates being a reserved, introspective, powerful and astute man than scotch in a glass.

1 scotch

1 glass

Ice (optional)

Makes you feel like – Don Draper.

(Previously published on June 28, 2013.)

Johnny Weir continues to be FABULOUS

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Johnny Weir, legend on the ice, legend on the runway. Dude takes style to a whole other level.

Johnny’s outfit today

johnny weir update 640x614 Johnny Weir continues to be FABULOUS

NBC


Johnny’s fabulous ring yesterday

Johnny Weir ring 640x513 Johnny Weir continues to be FABULOUS

NBC

Samuel L. Jackson goes off on news anchor in most awkward interview ever

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Samuel L. Jackson was being interviewed this morning on live TV by Sam Rubin of KTLA when Rubin mistakenly confused him with Laurence Fishburne. That’s when all hell broke loose.

Rubin got it all started by asking Jackson about his Super Bowl commercial. Problem is, he wasn’t in a Super Bowl commercial, but Fishburne was…

“We don’t all look alike!” says Jackson as Rubin backpedals like Richard Sherman covering Michael Crabtree.

Translators have trouble with snowboarder’s bro-ish lingo

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Russian translators were faced with an ugly task the first week of the Olympic games. Try to make sense of a snowboarder’s bro-ish lingo. Not surprisingly, it didn’t go well. Slopestyle gold medalist Sage Kotsenburg proved to be the most difficult.

Sage Kotsenburg Translators have trouble with snowboarders bro ish lingo

Wikimedia


“But this was not the most complicated (thing),” Lesokhin’s counterpart Oxana Yakimenko added. “In Russian, a ‘grab’ is a grab, ‘cab’ is like cab, and even though there’s a Russian word for rail, we say, ‘rail.’ But jump is ‘tramplin,’ and a spin is ‘vraschenije,’ and flip is ‘salto.’”

What about “stoked”?

After a pause and some prodding, Yakimenko admitted, “We used the word for ‘under the influence of alcohol’ which is kind of like, ‘under the fly.’”

Lesokhin mostly noticed that Kotsenburg “said ‘sick’ a lot.”

The Russian word for sick, bolnoy, “is bad, like you have a disease or something,” Yakimenko said. But there are plenty of Russian words for crazy, so the duo substituted “bezumny,” “kruto,” or “sumasshedshy.”

“You have to prepare for jobs like this,” Lesokhin said. Fortunately, the interpreters had watched Kotsenburg’s runs on TV with Russian commentary so some of the tricks were already ingrained.

So, just to review here: if you were a Russian listening to Kotsenburg’s interviews, you think he was either

a) drunk
b) dying of Malaria

This probably qualifies as a #sochiproblem

[Al-Jazeera]

This fish can do something that no fish should be able to do

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Fish often don’t get a lot of respect in the Animal Kingdom, probably because we can dispose of them so easily. But watch this goldfish and his amazing trick and you may gain a lot more respect for our underwater friends.

That’s a pretty amazing bit of fish lifehacking there. If you love your fish, you should definitely do this for him or her. Also, you should probably feel a little weird for loving a fish. They don’t really do much lovable, unless you’re a big fan of crapping where you sleep. Then again, I may have just answered my own question.

Also, here’s another fish who has advanced beyond his usual mortal limitations:

tumblr m2x8rcsbsX1qg2dtno1 500 This fish can do something that no fish should be able to do

Are Beyonce and Barack Obama having an affair? One French photographer thinks so

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beyonce obama affair Are Beyonce and Barack Obama having an affair? One French photographer thinks so

Beyonce image by JStone/Shutterstock


Oh God, if this rumor about Beyonce and Barack Obama having an affair is true it’ll blow that whole Bill Clinton – Liz Hurley story right out of the water. Oh, wait, that one was totally made up. Is this rumor as well? The simple answer to this is: yeah, probably.

Related: Beyonce in GIF – The Guyism Animated GIFs Anthology

French photographer Pascal Rostain said this morning on Europe 1 (using Google Translate), “It’s going out tomorrow in the Washington Post – we can not say that it is the gutter press – on an alleged affair between President Barack Obama and Beyonce. I can assure you that the world will talk.”

Later in the day he said (again through Google Translate)…

“It seems that the relationship between Barack and Michele Obama are not looking good for several weeks, said Pascal Rostain. From what I know, it’s still very cold between Barack and Michele. But I do not know any more. The Washington Post in particular working on it for several weeks. I had one of their reporters yesterday on the phone.”

Of course, the Washington Post denies it all. “I can tell you that this is wrong.” The Washington Post does not prepare articles “like this.”

Rostain, who seems pretty confident that he’s right, says that the laws are different in America so journalists here are just waiting to be 150% confident before reporting it.

So it is true? Doubtful. Even Tom Sizemore thinks it’s complete bullshit. But just imagine if it is. How fun would that be?

Want more Beyonce news, pics, videos & GIFs? We can help you out right here.

Obama / Beyoncé: French paparazzi Pascal Rostain retracts [Le Figaro]

13 failed predictions that could not have been more wrong

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failed predictions 13 failed predictions that could not have been more wrong

RSVLTS

Throughout history some of the world’s biggest innovations have been scoffed at as being impossible. Boy were those skeptics way off in these cases. [LINK]

Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

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Justin Long girlfriends dating history Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Justin Long image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Ever since we were stunned last fall to learn that the guy best known for those Apple commercials, Justin Long, was dating Amanda Seyfried we’ve been curious about two things: How did he pull that off? And has he done this before? Today we answer question number two. Surely this dude’s alleged dating history can’t be that impressive, can it? Then again, he’s nailing Amanda Seyfried, so the answer may surprise you.

Kaitlin Doubleday (2005-2007)

Kaitlin Doubleday Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Kaitlin Doubleday image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Kaitlin Doubleday is an actress, in case you were wondering, like me. She’s been in one movie and on one TV show since 2011. They dated.



Hookup score: 8.5
Decent start.

Maggie Q (2007)

maggie q dating Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Maggie Q image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Long and Q were both in the film Live Free or Die Hard and were spotted making out at a party at the Playboy mansion. Nice.



Hookup score: 9.0
He’s already overachieving.

Drew Barrymore (2007-2008, 2009-2010)

drew barrymore boyfriend Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Drew Barrymore image by Jaguar PS/Shutterstock

Long and Barrymore worked together on the movie He’s Just Not That Into You and started dating. Then they broke up. Then they reportedly got back together and appeared in the film Going the Distance. Then they broke up.



Hookup score: 9.0
Picture caption: “I can’t believe I keep scoring women like this!”

Kirsten Dunst (2008)

kirsten dunst dating Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Kirsten Dunst image by Everett Collection/Shutterstock

After Long and Barrymore broke up, the first time, he was seen kissing Dunst on more than one occasion, yet they claimed to be just friends.



Hookup score: 8.5
Friends with benefits, maybe?

Tila Tequila (2008)

tila tequila boyfriend Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Tila Tequila image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Uh oh. Long was reported to have hooked up with Tila on Halloween and Tila did nothing to quell any speculation.



Hookup score: 8.5
He did what he should have done. Kept his mouth shut.

Ginnifer Goodwin (2009)

ginnifer goodwin Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Ginnifer Goodwin image by Joe Seer/Shutterstock

These two also met on the set of He’s Just Not That Into You. They attended a Vanity Fair Oscar party together so their relationship seemed to be confirmed.



Hookup score: 8.5
Sounds like that movie had a fun set.

Leighton Meester (2011)

leighton meester boyfriend Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Leighton Meester image by Jaguar PS/Shutterstock

Many Web sites said these two were dating having reportedly been spotted on several dates at the time. Who are we to argue with the Internet?



Hookup score: 9.0
What is this man’s secret?

Amanda Seyfried (2013-2014)

amanda seyfried justin long Ranking the hot hookups of Justin Long

Amanda Seyfried image by Joe Seer/Shutterstock

Reportedly spent all night together at Seyfried’s Lovelace premiere and were just “seeing where it goes.” That’s code, right?



Hookup score: 9.0
Has he finally maxed out or can he fly even higher?




Other less-substantiated alleged flings: Olga Kurylenko

Final Tally

Justin Long’s Hookup Score: 70 points

Pretty amazing consindering, you know, he’s Justin Long. He must be really, really funny and charming.

1. Leonardo DiCaprio – 187 points
2. Jack Nicholson – 163
3. Charlie Sheen – 136
4. Lenny Kravitz – 129.5
5. Bruce Willis – 120
6. Chace Crawford – 119.5

7. John Stamos – 115

8. Nicolas Cage – 114
9. 50 Cent – 113
10. Tommy Lee – 111

11. Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs – 110

12. Stephen Dorff – 109.5

13. Jamie Foxx – 108.5

14. Jared Leto – 108
15. Keanu Reeves – 103.5
16. Vin Diesel – 100.5

17. Cristiano Ronaldo – 99.5

18. Russell Brand – 99

19. Seth MacFarlane – 98

20. Tiger Woods – 93.5

21. George Clooney – 93
22. Tom Cruise – 92.5

23t. Benicio Del Toro – 91

23t. Josh Hartnett – 91
25. Ryan Seacrest – 88.5
26. Drake – 88

27. Jonathan Rhys Meyers – 84.5

28. Chris Evans – 83.5
29t. Justin Timberlake – 82
29t. Ryan Phillippe – 82

29t. Tyson Beckford – 82

32t. Ben Affleck – 81

32t. Orlando Bloom – 81
34t. Eminem – 80
34t. Josh Hutcherson – 80
34t. Tyrese Gibson – 80

34t. Derek Jeter – 80
38t. Alec Baldwin – 78.5
38t. David Duchovny – 78.5
38t. Marilyn Manson – 78.5

41t. Jim Carrey – 77.5

41t. Owen Wilson – 77.5

43. Joe Jonas – 77
44. Ryan Reynolds – 75
45. Ashton Kutcher – 73
46t. Harry Styles – 72.5

46t. Jeremy Piven – 72.5

48. Ryan Gosling – 72
49t. Kanye West – 71
49t. Brad Pitt – 71
49t. Jude Law – 71
52t. Justin Long – 70

52t. Colin Farrell – 70
52t. Adam Levine – 70
55t. Usher – 69

55t. Sean Penn – 69
57t. Taylor Lautner – 67

57t. Johnny Depp – 67
59t. Ian Somerhalder – 66

59t. Jake Gyllenhaal – 66
61t. Max George – 64.5

61t. Andy Roddick – 64.5

63t. Tom Brady – 64
63t. Mark Sanchez – 64
63t. Joseph Gordon-Levitt – 63

66t. Zac Efron – 63

66t. Adrien Brody – 63

66t. Adam Brody – 63

66t. Kevin Connolly – 63
70. Chris Pine – 62.5

71t. Michael Phelps – 62

71t. Adam Duritz – 62
71t. Alexander Skarsgard – 62
71t. Wilmer Valderrama – 62
71t. Gerard Butler – 62
76. Liam Neeson – 61.5

77. Criss Angel – 61
78. John Mayer – 60
79. Bradley Cooper – 57
80. Shia LaBeouf – 56.5
81t. James Franco – 53

81t. Alex Rodriguez – 53
83t. Will Smith – 52

83t. Kellan Lutz – 52

85. Robert Downey, Jr. – 51.5
86. Edward Norton – 51
87. Paul Walker – 48.5

88. Matthew Morrison – 47

Gael Monfils hit an amazing tennis shot left-handed—Gael Monfils is NOT left-handed

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Frenchman Gael Monfils is one of the most entertaining athletes in the world. The man has an uncanny ability to hit tennis shots that simply defy physics. In a recent match against Jarkko Nieminen, Monfils pulled a rabbit out of his hat again.

REMINDER: Gael Monfils is a right-handed player. Gael Monfils hit a passing shot while sitting down…left-handed. Yeah, he’s pretty good at tennis.

What would you do if you found yourself in a porn scene in real life? Probably this

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Every man has dreamed of finding themselves in the middle of a porn scene at some point in their lives. But what would really happen if the opportunity for sex with a random presented itself to you? Probably something just like this.

The entendres are laid on so thick there that I can barely breathe. I’m just glad the scene didn’t take place in a bathroom otherwise this guy would have a perfectly viable reason why he didn’t want to get it in with her. Nothing kills a boner faster than the wafting scent of Taco Bell-induced toilet clogging dumps, no matter how beautiful a lady they may fly out of.

Below the Video: 16 of the funniest YouTube comments ever

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In this week’s round up of the best YouTube comments we see a Snoop Dogg impersonator, some misplaced anger, and more! With over 24 hours of video uploaded every 24 seconds to YouTube there is more hilarious commentary and YouTube reviews available than any one person could process in a hundred lifetimes. And because we here at Guyism know you don’t have the time to sift through all the hilarious YouTube comments below every single video uploaded, we’ll do it for you. Now, it’s very important to go into this without pre-conceived notions on what you might find. YouTube commenters have over time seemed to establish themselves as the preeminent improv commenters of the Internet, so heed my warning and be prepared for anything and everything. Rest assured though, if you choose to see how deep the Rabbit Hole goes you’ll be handsomely rewarded with the knowledge that below the cute video of cats playing with yarn lurks some of the edgiest humor on the Internet.

If you enjoyed this and want more amazing content be sure to go like us on Facebook for en endless stream of hilarity!

Alexandra Bring is the Swedish Jen Selter (and she might have a better booty)

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Jen Selter has taken over the Internet recently by posting photos of her world-class ass on Instagram, but there’s a woman in Sweden named Alexandra Bring who might be a threat to her title of best butt on Instagram.

Related: Jen Selter: The most Instagrammed ass in the world

While her 212,000-plus followers currently pales in comparison to Selter’s 2.3 million-plus, it’s not for lack of equally impressive photos.

On her Web site Alexandra tells us that she runs one of Sweden’s largest training blogs, has studied food and weight counseling, and creates exercise and diet schedules professionally. Looks like whatever she suggests works.

She also has a presence on Facebook and Twitter, where she shares more pics and details on her interesting life.

So who are you taking in this one? Selter? Or Bring?


10 vitamins every guy should take

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mens vitamins 10 vitamins every guy should take

MTV Guy Code

Are there any supplements out there we can take and not get us banned from our dart leagues? Thankfully, there are. Here’s a list of safe (and legal) vitamins that will will give men great performance while avoiding any A-Rod like repercussions. [LINK]

What to watch tonight: Olympics, ‘The Following’

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Did you know? For the first time in 130 years, mixed breeds will compete at the Westminster Dog Show. Elsewhere, you may or not see a pretty American skier win a medal tonight.

The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show @ 8pm, CNBC: Opening night of the 138th Dog Show, the most prestigious of its kind in the world.

The Following @ 9pm, FOX: Let me guess…FBI gets fooled by yet another daring caper?

Sochi Olympics @ 8pm, NBC: Tonight’s events include alpine skiing and short-track speed skating.

Watch What Happens Live @ 11pm, Bravo: Denise Richards is on tonight and she’ll probably tell some wild story of Charlie Sheen free-basing off her vagina—or something like that.

Must See Imagery: 20 hilarious photos to brighten your Monday

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In today’s Must See Imagery we have some hilarious demotivational posters, beautiful women, epic photobombs, and more! Aggregating content from the web’s hottest sources: Facebook, Tumblr, Imgur (often via Reddit), amongst others, we’re able to save you those precious man hours that can be used for things like grilling red meat, or wondering who the hell that sexy girl was in that commercial you just saw. If you come across any photos you think should be included in this daily feature then head on over HERE and post them to our Facebook wall, and I’ll be sure to include them (provided they don’t suck, and you actually understand what funny is).


Fires, totally…


Is it the three day weekend yet? Is it???


The most bada$$ hot sauce around.


Be sure to share with the ones you love.


YOU LIE LIKE A DOG!


This person’s just asking to get their car keyed by an angry angry woman without a sense of humor.


The greatest Venn Diagram ever made.


These faceswaps are truly getting out of control.


This dog has zero interest in your über classy photo.


Know someone who needs these? Share this pic with them.


“Wow! Such attractive chicks at the bar, chugging a keg! I can’t wait to go there” – said by no one ever


Dog logic.


Who knew?


A deal is a deal is a deal.


Is it Spring soon?


What can I say? I like to take care of my valuables.


Touche!


I suppose it is.




If you enjoyed this and want more hilarious content then be sure to GO LIKE US ON FACEBOOK for an endless stream of hilarity!

Keeley Hazell gets back to her roots, posts fantastically busty picture on Instagram

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keeley hazell boobs instagram Keeley Hazell gets back to her roots, posts fantastically busty picture on Instagram

Keeley Hazell, Instagram


Keeley Hazell was on our list of 50 fascinating women to watch in 2014 because she finally admitted she could still take sexy pics in addition to pursuing her acting career. This recent Instagram picture is a good first step back to being the Keeley we love.

Related: 50 fascinating women to watch in 2014

Keeley captioned this photo: “I came across this dress from my 21st birthday party, and then found these… Who knew?! #rackrackcityy’all.”

Rack city, indeed. Welcome back, Keeley. We missed them, I mean you.

10 reasons why it’s okay to hit on your friend’s sister

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hit on friends sister 10 reasons why it’s okay to hit on your friend’s sister

BroBible

Even though she was totally off limits at first, you’ve both grown and matured and now things are different. Here’s a guide to understanding why making a move on your friend’s sister may not be as big of a deal as it once seemed. [LINK]

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