We’ve got three episodes of Dexter left and I’m dreading these upcoming moments. But I’m all in, you’re all in, so let’s take a look at what happened in S08E10′s “Goodbye Miami”.
Showtime
WINNER: Argentina’s tourism board
The whole episode is based around the fact that Dexter is moving to Argentina with his fugitive love of his life Hannah. Deb, shockingly, responds in the Debiest of ways. Just a couple weeks ago you wanted to see him in jail or dead and now you can’t bear for him to leave? You suck, Deb.
Deb vents to Quinn about it and Quinn — QUINN — is the voice of reason saying that sometimes change is a good thing and that Deb needs to support the best thing for him.
LOSER: Oliver Saxon’s jealousy issues
Our Brain Surgeon killer Oliver sits down to a breakfast with his mom because that’s what you do with a guy who’s been sending you threatening missives for months. Oliver is mad that Dexter got the gift of “The Code” from Vogel while he was shunted away to an institution. For some reason, Vogel doesn’t think he’s going to be a problem.
Dexter attempts to be a voice of reason; Saxon will keep killing people if Vogel’s plan of “be nice to him and try to get him help in a couple months” doesn’t work. But while Dexter contemplates bailing to Argentina without finishing off Saxon, Ghost Harry tells him that’s not the right move. Dexter: Easily convinced.
Saxon doesn’t want to learn the code, though. He wants Vogel’s help to let him kill innocent people. That doesn’t make any sense. You’ve already done that part. And she says okay? What? This is idiotic. This fucking show.
LOSER: Smoking pot in Masuka’s presence
Masuka’s hot daughter comes to a crime scene on a Saturday not expecting to work. But Masuka smells pot on her right away and scolds her for it. I would have really thought Masuka would be more understanding of a little green. Kind of disappointed in him if I’m being honest.
At the crime scene, Dexter tells Batista that he’s going to leave the force. Batista says he’s always got a home there if he changes his mind. This is all so strange and emotionless. I know I often say it’s unfair to compare a show like Dexter to a show like Breaking Bad but on that show, every small moment seems huge. Here every big moment seems entirely inconsequential. I wished for so much more for you, Dexter.
Anyway, that dude who was in The Shield overhears Batista mention that they’re looking for a new forensic guy. Since he’s hunting for Hannah McKay, this all pieces things together in his head. You mean there’s one smart person on this show? Did he get lost from a different network?
WINNER: Bachelor Joey Quinn
Quinn tells Jamie things aren’t working out in a fairly awkward way. It’s probably got something to do with the fact that he’s going to be working with Deb on the force again. But Jamie didn’t see it coming, especially given that they moved in together like three hours ago. Quinn is really good at making adult decisions.
Deb finds out that they broke up and confronts Quinn about it. They then mutually confess their love and share a romantic kiss by the water. This is highly unprofessional behavior.
LOSER: Deb’s severance package
Deb gives notice to Elway now that she’s returning to Miami Metro and he takes it like a bitch, of course. Elway tells Deb that he’ll have security pack her stuff up for her and all of the case files, including Hannah McKay, are his property now. So butthurt she didn’t love him.
LOSER: Harrison’s shot at the Youth Olympics
Harrison plays with a treadmill because Aunt Deb does it and splits his face open. Dumbass. Hannah then has to take him to the ER because the injury won’t stop bleeding which is probably really good given that there’s a US Marshal searching for her right now. And that plot point pays off immediately when the nurse recognizes her and stools to Deputy Marshal Clayton.
Way to ruin everything, Harrison.
WINNER: Vogel’s future life as a muppet
Vogel calls Dexter because Oliver Saxon is at her house, even though Dexter told her to meet him somewhere public. Dexter is scared that Deputy Marshal Clayton is going to come back and get Hannah so he delays in getting over to Vogel’s house to take Saxon out. And Vogel gets her throat slit while Dexter watches from outside the house as a result.
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So look…this Oliver Saxon dude, huge dick. Definitely deserves to die. But Dexter could leave the country now and get his SON and LOVE OF HIS LIFE safely somewhere else. Vogel hasn’t helped Dexter at all; if anything, she might be the one who convinced him that he had to be a monster. But he basically got sucked into her bullshit and is submarining his own life for it.
I don’t get it. I’m willing to root for Dexter in the face of countless murders he’s committed and the fact that he sort of ruined his sister and dad’s lives. But it’s just idiotic that he’s willingly foregoing a chance at a life for more cat and mouse nonsense.
All that said, the preview for the final two episodes (embedded below) did kind of give me chills. I hate you so much, I love you so much, Dexter. Can you save how we’ll remember the entire show by going out strong? I’m not sure I’m optimistic but we’ll see how it goes.