eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
If I ever wear a leather jumpsuit, sing out of tune and dance… please stop me.
— Frankie Muniz (@frankiemuniz) August 26, 2013
Deal.
Somebody please get Miley off stage. Preferably push her. #VMAs
— Camilla Cleese (@CamillaCleese) August 26, 2013
Didn’t happen. Unfortunately.
I literally just started jumping up and down on the couch when #nsync came on.
— Ashley Tisdale (@ashleytisdale) August 26, 2013
There’s a mental image for you. She’s 28 by the way.
Did Justin Timberlake win the VMA for 'most fedoras'? I forgot to set my DVR #VMAs2013
— Hannah Kasulka (@hkasulka) August 26, 2013
I believe that he did.
One direction beats Miley and robin and Daft Punk for song of the summer? WHAT is happening?!? #VMAs2013
— Adam Horowitz (@AdamHorowitzLA) August 26, 2013
There really is no winner there.
Woww my abs actually hurt from cringing so hard at Mileys performance. Time to find a Planned Parenthood center cuz i feel violated, yikess
— Abigail Ratchford (@AbiRatchford) August 26, 2013
I put it on now when I need an ab workout.
Gotta take better care of myself. Want to see the 2058 VMAs when a 100 year-old Madonna snaps her spine singing "Lucky Star."
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 26, 2013
You and me both, brother.
The VMA's seriously used to be so awesome.
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) August 26, 2013
When was that, like 1982?
Random: I swear my mirror ain't lying, I look good as fuck.
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) August 26, 2013
You and me both, brother.
The VMAs are a great reminder of why I'm Pro-Choice.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) August 26, 2013
……
It's Chris Pine's birthday? What is he 18 today? Happy Birthday to Chris. He needs to come to Twitter,
— William Shatner (@WilliamShatner) August 26, 2013
Kirk on Kirk burn.
Got stung in the hand by a wasp yesterday. My hand is swollen 2x too big. Been trying to get stung in the dick for the last 11 hours…
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) August 26, 2013
Trust me, someone has tried that for real.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's my distinguished honor to present you with…. the news. RT @CNN: Miley Cyrus twerks, stuns VMAs crowd.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) August 26, 2013
CNN, continuing to disappoint.
CNN thinks Miley Cyrus is the big news. So who's the whore now CNN? Wolf Blitzer better learn how to twerk.
— Jake Johannsen (@Jakethis) August 27, 2013
Damn, just got another mental image.
I wonder what Beyonce’s haircut thinks of Miley’s performance at the advertising revenue circus?
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 27, 2013
Go check it’s Twitter account to find out.
We're all still referring to lovemaking as "knockin' boots," right?
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) August 27, 2013
You’re damn right we are.
Wait a minute, does everyone have a secret life?
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) August 27, 2013
I think that they do.
New pet peeve: being stalked in the parking lot by cars looking for a parking space when I don't even know where my car is.
— Kayden Kross (@Kayden_Kross) August 27, 2013
Sorry about that Kayden.
#BadStripClubNames You're Almost 50, You Need to Know That Nobody Likes Having Their Pussy Slapped, It's Just a Porn Thing.
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) August 27, 2013
That is a bad strip club name.
I weep for Miley Cyrus. @MileyCyrus we need to come together and pray! http://t.co/pw3f47MlC0
— Kylie Bisutti (@mrsbisutti) August 27, 2013
You did not weep.
Every time I think I have my ducks in a row… the damn ducks start waddling off in all types of directions.
— Ashley Alexiss (@AshAlexiss) August 28, 2013
Just shoot it.
Don't push anyone in a pool unless you're prepared to buy them a new cellphone.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) August 28, 2013
Words of wisdom.
"Mile, if twerkin woulda been invented…. And I had a foam finger…. I woulda done the same thang you did." – DAD
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) August 28, 2013
Really?
The #NCAA is stupid and ridiculous. A complete joke. #EndOfStory
— Wendy Fiore (@wendyfiore) August 29, 2013
Damn, even Wendy Fiore knows that.
I would just like to remind everybody of the reality of the situation. http://t.co/DeV7iQUnZx pic.twitter.com/Tw1KBQhcZf
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) August 29, 2013
Wait, what? You mean they touched up your photos?!
The NFL had to scratch a $765m check to make it's concussion lawsuit go away? Cheap price to pay.
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) August 29, 2013
$765 mill? Roger Goodell probably pulled it out of the ashtray in his car.
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) August 29, 2013
Pocket change.
Just tried to star a tweet someone RTd into my timeline but couldn’t because that person has me blocked. And you think you know pain…
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) August 29, 2013
Take the rest of the week off, Rob.