Today marks the 24th anniversary of Saved By the Bell, a show that’s responsible for my first boner. I’d like to thank Kelly Kapowski for that wonderful moment and I’d like to thank my mom for not judging me after she walked in and I had my hand down my pants while Kelly was jumping and dear God, just look at these gifs.
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Allow me to tell you the story of Bayside High School…
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There was a guy named Zack Morris, the popular, preppy kid.
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Kelly Kapowski, the smoking hot, All-American girl.
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A.C. Slater, the jock.
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Jessie Spano, the brainiac.
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Lisa Turtle, the fashionista.
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Screech, the nerd they let tag along.
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Tori Scott, who created quite a paradox.
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And of course, their principal, Mr. Belding.
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The story starts with Zack, who was madly in love with Kelly.
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It was the classic tale of the popular guy and the cheerleader.
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But Slater also vied for Kelly’s attention, impressing her with his dance moves.
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An ugly feud arose between Zack and Slater
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They even came to blows one time.
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Kelly thought they were acting like children.
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She even began dating other men.
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Sometimes she cried herself to sleep
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She turned to her friends for help.
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But Lisa’s mind was elsewhere, clearly frustrated she wasn’t the center of attention
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Jessie had family issues to deal with.
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And Screech, well, he was just an idiot.
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Finally, Kelly looked long and hard in the mirror.
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And decided Zack was her true love.
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Zack was beside himself, celebrated with an air guitar.
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Slater was pissed, told Kelly how he felt.
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He temporarily lost his mind and began harassing women.
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Eventually, after a long talk with a friend, he came to his senses.
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Found somebody who enjoyed dancing as much as him.
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Well, almost as much.
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Meanwhile, Lisa was working out.
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In an effort to fend off the sexual advances of Screech.
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Who, was still really, really weird.
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I mean, nobody liked the guy.
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He even turned on his best friend Zack.
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But he cried and and cried and they were forced to keep him around.
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As the crew got older, they faced real life issues.
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Drugs.
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Drunk driving.
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An identity crisis.
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Their band breaking up.
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Infidelity.
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Natural disasters.
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Going to the military.
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A brief modeling career.
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A friend’s homelessness.
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Sexual frustration.
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But they persevered and got to graduation.
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Years later Zack and Kelly found each other again
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Got married in Vegas
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And everyone lived happily ever after…because as far as I’m concerned, this show NEVER existed.
(Much thanks to LOLSlater for compiling many of these GIFs)