eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
The good news is we got a 4 star review. The bad news its from all the reviews combined
— David Spade (@DavidSpade) July 15, 2013
And yet it still made bank. SMH.
The time you spend hearing people say "fashion-forward" is time you can't get back.
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) July 15, 2013
Like just now.
If you put headphones into your nostrils and open your mouth, it forms instant speakers. Haha!
— JessicaJane Stafford (@KissJessicaJane) July 15, 2013
Dare you to try it.
Retweet if you think we should eliminate wasteful tax breaks for the oil and gas industry, saving American taxpayers $4 billion a year.
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) July 15, 2013
Troll so hard, POTUS.
i need a date to the espy's. should i make a youtube video?
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July 15, 2013
No.
Watching home run comp.I can easily hit the ball further than any of them
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) July 16, 2013
Wow I can hit a softball further than these guys can hit a baseball in the home run derby.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) July 16, 2013
Cespedes come challenge me to a hr competition. Ask larussa who would winn
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) July 16, 2013
This went on all night.
Hey MLB, how about adding an Unable To Advance Runners To Third Derby so my Royals can strut their stuff?
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) July 16, 2013
They would so dominate.
Is she fucking Ray J too??? RT @KimKardashian: Watching my mom now! Couldn't be more proud!!!
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 16, 2013
Ooh, bad mental image. Bad bad.
Operation massive side boob has commenced
— Ashley Alexiss (@AshAlexiss) July 16, 2013
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Headed into meeting for a bust ass kill em all action movie this summer. Gonna be some caddywampus ass whoopins on this sumbitch.
— Steve Austin (@steveaustinBSR) July 16, 2013
Is it even possible to fit more badass into 140 characters?
Super weird. In England band-aids are called plasters and they freak out when you eat em.
— chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) July 16, 2013
Wait, what?
Listening to Jenny McCarthy talk? RT @washmonthly: How Autism Really "Spreads" http://t.co/xetcPLRoKU
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) July 16, 2013
TWEET OF THE WEEK!
I like bad girls with round bottoms even though they are often a nightmare personally. I'm such a fraud.
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) July 16, 2013
The more you know.
I just want to be loved by anonymous people I don't give a shit about on the internet. Is that so wrong?
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) July 16, 2013
Actually I think it is.
It's not racism if you hate everyone equally. Some old Asian lady once told me that.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 17, 2013
Asians are wise.
For the 1st time, a drone landed itself on an aircraft carrier. Wake me up when it learns 2 play volleyball against a shirtless Val Kilmer.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) July 17, 2013
Seriously.
Apparently all this time I've been trying to get on the cover of Rolling Stone the HARD way.
— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) July 17, 2013
Presented without comment.
Texts: Cool! What does it say? Emails: Oh God… what do they want? Phone call: I basically assume someone has died.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 17, 2013
Sounds about right.
what movie better Sharknado 2 or Your the biggest piece of dead dog shit in the world go fuck your own ass forever till you die 4?
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) July 17, 2013
I’m gonna go with Sharknado 2.
Sharknado 2 idea: The Sharknado goes back in time to protect a boy from an even bigger and more deadly Sharknado.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) July 17, 2013
I like it.
Sitting front row at the ESPYs so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna win.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) July 18, 2013
What? For the Sex Olympics?
@chrissyteigen I was going to keep talking to you but I thought u would think I was weird….since I was going to the bathroom and all.
— Danica Patrick (@DanicaPatrick) July 18, 2013
You’re getting a mental image right now, aren’t you?
Unless Kate Middleton gives birth to one of those E*TRADE babies, I'm not impressed.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 18, 2013
Nor should you be.
Mick Jagger or Jenna Jameson: which performer has professionally used the word "yeah" the most times?
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) July 18, 2013
Solid question.
It's exactly 1,000,000 degrees outside.
— Elizabeth Gillies (@LizGillies) July 18, 2013
Yes, yes it is.
Victoria's Secret is a beefy, veiny dick strapped to her leg.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) July 19, 2013
I probably should have stopped with the last tweet.