eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
Getting back to your hotel from a San Antonio Finals game is the worst Grand Theft Auto game ever.
— Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons) June 17, 2013
Hey, a new slogan for the San Antonio Tourism Bureau!
Eric Spoelstra is one of America's best high school coaches.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) June 17, 2013
And yet, he’s a two-time champ now.
miss 'the south africas' south carolina is probably soooooo happy today
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 17, 2013
She should send a thank you gift to Miss Utah.
I heard someone say "top 2 finishers" and now I can't stop thinking about a porn Olympics.
— Alison Forns (@alisonforns) June 17, 2013
Annnd this is why we like her.
Miss Universe is the one we let talk to aliens right
— Alison Forns (@alisonforns) June 17, 2013
I believe that is correct.
Whenever somebody takes out a guitar at a party, I take out my dick & say "Keep strummin', Cat Stevens…"
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 17, 2013
As one should.
Fox News is Sesame Street for old people.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 17, 2013
Sesame Street takes offense with that statement.
"The 'Miss Utah' pod-agent has sent the coded message! Attack! Attack!" — D'yoshht T'riil, Supreme War-wraith of the Phobos Fleet
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 17, 2013
Sorry, this just made me laugh.
"I can do that. Hold my beer" – My last words, probably.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) June 18, 2013
And this is why we like her.
When I wear a shirt with buttons I take it off in the mirror and practice being sexy. I did this 15 mins ago.
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) June 18, 2013
Next time prove it with Instagram video.
The only way I could hate the Miami Heat more is if they were called the Miami Humidity.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) June 19, 2013
It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
#rigged is trending.
— Jim Rome (@jimrome) June 19, 2013
After Game 6.
What movie better Anchorman 2 or Go Fuck Your own dead dog dick 4?
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) June 19, 2013
I’m going to go with Anchorman 2 on this one.
In case you were wondering, you are allowed to bring duct tape on an airplane. Clearly they have no idea what I can accomplish w/ 1 roll!
— Kari Byron (@KariByron) June 20, 2013
Kari Byron: Terrorist threat.
Rob Schneider & Jenny McCarthy linking vaccines to autism. Martin Lawrence & Kelsey Grammer on a new FX series. The Freedom Tower glistens.
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) June 20, 2013
‘MURICA.
I can't believe my boobies are going to be a year old tomorrow! #CocoAndChanel
— Ashley Alexiss (@AshAlexiss) June 20, 2013
Was there a party?
No one is more sad about James Gandolfini's death than Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 20, 2013
Seriously.
Today is Nicole Kidman's birthday. In preparation, she started to smile 3 weeks ago.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) June 20, 2013
Oh snap.
Worried Aaron Hernandez will use Tim Tebow like a media smoke bomb and escape in the confusion
— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) June 20, 2013
Seems like a smart plan.
In honor of Tony Soprano we should all fuck our therapists today.
— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) June 20, 2013
Or any therapist.
Just what the people wanted, with the introduction of video, Instagram is going to turn into millions of independent 15 second food networks
— Jamie Kennedy (@JamieKennedy) June 20, 2013
That’s not even a joke.
why is everyone complaining about "the heat". it's positively cool and crisp outside.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) June 21, 2013
Girls…
Then North West became someone's name and I died
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) June 21, 2013
The End.