Twitter Crazy: This week’s best celebrity tweets

If you had told me 20 years ago that Yahoo was gonna buy Tumblr, I’d have no idea what the fuck you were talking about.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 20, 2013

Some people out there actually feel that way today.

First session back on the track in a while, feels good to be training again :)

— Michelle Jenneke (@MJenneke93) May 20, 2013

Attention: Paparazzi! Attention: Paparazzi!

That new Daft Punk is some good pussy eatin’ music.

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) May 20, 2013

Duly noted.

People talk about chickens coming home to roost like it’s a bad thing, but I think it sounds heartwarming.

— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) May 20, 2013

Yeah, why is that a bad thing?

Curtains that open and close with a lightswitch turn me on. #seriously instagram.com/p/ZitO51q5rx/

— Arielle Kebbel (@ArielleKebbel) May 20, 2013

Also duly noted.

40 year-old me reacts to the sound of the UPS truck the way 9 year-old me reacted to the sound of the ice cream truck.

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) May 20, 2013

You are not alone.

It feels like forever until Battleship 2 comes out!!

— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) May 20, 2013

Right. Why are they making us wait?

If you are watching TV in a hotel room and you are not in the bed, you are really weird.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) May 21, 2013

This is 100% true.

I hear one room of the Paula Deen Museum will show video of her in college masturbating with a churro.

— Jason Biggs (@JasonBiggs) May 21, 2013

Thanks for the mental image.

Mark my words: on the last episode of “Game of Thrones,” we will finally get to see all the dragons naked.

— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 21, 2013

Might as well, everyone else has been.

I still love you, @barackobama, but your presidency has entered the “Russian dashboard camera” phase.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 21, 2013

That can’t be good.

enough stereotyping. EVERYBODY LIKES FRIED CHICKEN.

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 22, 2013

Yeah, Sergio.

I’m gonna start making fun of people who DON’T like fried chicken. You’re the ones missing out.

— John Legend (@johnlegend) May 22, 2013

Exactly.

That awkward moment when someone tries to talk to you.

— Alison Forns (@alisonforns) May 22, 2013

Seriously, why do people keep doing that?

I feel same re NYC mayoral candidate Weiner as I did Pres Clinton. If their wives are cool with their funky stuff, so I am. Won’t be boring

— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) May 22, 2013

Well, as long as our leaders aren’t boring…

Is Laura Bush the world’s most famous goth?

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) May 22, 2013

Yes.

Jose Canseco tweeted the name, number and picture of a woman who accused him of rape. All of a sudden the Kardashians’ don’t seem that bad.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 22, 2013

Amazingly stupid.

Joe Francis probably has a lot of books in his house. Fiction mostly. All well-read & none for show. He’s not alone if he has a good novel!

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) May 22, 2013

He seems like a reader.

It’s weird that my guy friends from school watched me having #sex @vivid & then told me #ItWasHot

— FarrahAbraham (@F1abraham) May 22, 2013

Not sure weird is the right word here.

looks like #jodiarias jury is gonna drop the football. #soft

— Steve Austin (@steveaustinBSR) May 22, 2013

Best use of the #soft hashtag all week.

fact: there are 89,673 ways to spell “brittney”

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 23, 2013

That’s true.

Candy Crush is a tool of Satan.

— Gregory Shane Helms (@ShaneHelmsCom) May 23, 2013

Without a doubt.

It cannot be stated enough how impressive @rgiii is when he speaks publicly. Guy is the truth.

— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) May 23, 2013

The NFL needs him.

Putting rocks in socks is a good way to stretch em out when they’re hanging on the clothes-line.

— Gary Busey (@THEGaryBusey) May 24, 2013

Okay then, have a great Memorial Day Weekend all!