eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
I visited the Anne Frank house over the weekend, and wrote in the guestbook: “Disappointed that Justin Bieber isn’t still here.”
— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) April 15, 2013
She would have been a Belieber, you know?
Ntntntntntntntnhtntntntntntnntntnntntnnntnntnt n thymn thymhtmhtmhy hyhnthyh,hhthyhyhmyntb
— Ryan Lochte (@ryanlochte) April 15, 2013
I totally agree with you, Ryan.
Man shoots himself dead at NRA 500: ironic tragedy or best marketing strategy ever?
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) April 15, 2013
Depends on who you ask.
Sending prayers to everyone who was/is at the #bostonmarathon
— Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) April 15, 2013
As were we all.
Fuck! We have to stop hurting each other. My heart aches. Why would anyone do this? I don’t understand.
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) April 15, 2013
None of us do.
Next week on Mad Men: a bunch of people saying controversial things out of context.
— Melissa Stetten(@MelissaStetten) April 16, 2013
So it’s a rerun?
My fans da
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) April 16, 2013
Really? You chose to call them that this week?
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
— Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) April 16, 2013
SMH.
I just spent an hour trying to put together a series of emoticons that looks like a hand jerking off a penis and jizzing on a face. I’m 34.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) April 17, 2013
Time well spent.
Fast and Furious 7 is set for a 2014 release. When they get to 10, the producers get a free combo meal at Subway.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 17, 2013
Only four more to go!!.
I like to think Wolf Blitzer isn’t on CNN right now because he’s out chasing the suspect over rooftops
— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) April 17, 2013
He’s not kidding.
CNN: Homeland Security lowers the threat level from “dark-skinned” to “brown-skinned.”
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) April 17, 2013
Well that’s a relief.
Someone at CNN should shout, “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!” to cover up this shitshow they call reporting.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) April 17, 2013
Not a good week for CNN.
CNN doing the news version of the Ambien fridge walk.
— Alison Forns (@alisonforns) April 17, 2013
Best analogy of the week.
Can’t wait for the episode of Newsroom where they knew CNN was wrong all along.
— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) April 17, 2013
Newsroom is a better source of news at this point.
Good going, congress. The bright yellow glow emanating from your alleged spine is a beacon in the night.
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) April 17, 2013
Congress disappointing people is an American tradition.
our entire fucking system is just a fuckup machine constantly stuck on level 10 fuckup mode
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 17, 2013
“Level 10 fuckup mode” is my new favorite phrase.
“I want to make it clear to the American people that we can still bring about meaningful changes that reduce gun violence.” —President Obama
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) April 17, 2013
That would be nice.
Reading gossip texted to your iPhone on live TV is not reporting…. Someone pass this info onto John King and CNN.
— Jason Whitlock (@WhitlockJason) April 18, 2013
Thank goodness for Twitter.
I can see the fear in the employees’ eyes when I walk into @apple. “so…iTunes…what’s that about?” #iminept
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) April 18, 2013
Run, Genius, run!
One of the things I like doing while at the pool is checking out ladies’ tits.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) April 18, 2013
At least he’s honest.
Wish I had big boobs guys so I can take not so subtle pics and post them on Instagram and get lots of likes.
— Jamie Kennedy (@JamieKennedy) April 18, 2013
And so Michael Ian Black could stare at you at the pool.
Man, I bet Derek Jeter is having to send a lot of nurses platonic gift baskets these days.
— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) April 18, 2013
It’s a good time to be a nurse in NYC.
Happy one of the motherfuckers from #bostonbombing dead. I hope I catch the other so i can suplex him put him in camel clutch break his back
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) April 19, 2013
Turning him over to the Sheik would be just fine with me.