eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
Watching Duke/ Louisville my heart goes out to Kevin Ware.
— Joe Theismann (@Theismann7) March 31, 2013
Of that we have no doubt.
Heart breaking for the Louisville player who just broke his leg. I had the same injury as a teenager sliding into 3rd base. #Getwell
— Elizabeth Banks (@ElizabethBanks) March 31, 2013
Bet you didn’t know that.
Kevin Ware, I am sending you all my super hero healing powers. Holy shit.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) March 31, 2013
Gorgeous, funny, and she has super hero healing powers?
That had to be the worst sports injury I’ve ever seen. Truth
— DeionSanders (@DeionSanders) March 31, 2013
Truth, indeed.
I am getting married today
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 1, 2013
One minute later…
April fools
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 1, 2013
Wow. You had us going there Jose… for about 12 seconds.
At the doctors office this morning. Getting this tattoo removed from my face. This is going to be painful.
— Mike Tyson (@MikeTyson) April 1, 2013
For one split second I thought this was real.
Booked my first topless/nude shoot! #nervous
— Wendy Fiore (@wendyfiore) April 1, 2013
I don’t care if it was April Fool’s Day or not, don’t play with us like that.
sure, they should have worn underwear. but you mean to tell me that zooming in on a woman’s vagina as they’re getting out of a car is okay?
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 1, 2013
@chrissyteigen I have made the “no panties” mistake many times. Always happens when paparazzo are around. UGH!!!
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) April 1, 2013
Britney can so relate to this.
Guy with beard, guy with beard, guy with beard, boobs, guy with beard. – how I watch “Game of Thrones”
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) April 1, 2013
Hey, that’s how I watch it too!
I want @drake to murder my vagina.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) April 1, 2013
Sorry, we already heard that one before.
Win from within
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 1, 2013
I get all my life advice from Amanda Bynes now.
@mikeonofrio the shock was a 10, pain was a 1.
— Kevin Ware (@_billionairebev) April 1, 2013
Wait, the pain was a 1?! My pain was a 5 and I just watched it.
I have noticed that there are a lot more owners of one fucked-up eyeball in Atlanta than there are in LA.
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 2, 2013
He said it, not me.
Oh, you got “friend zoned,” you little whiner? In my day, when a girl didn’t like me, I jerked off in my tree fort and LIKED it.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) April 2, 2013
Yeah, toughen up kids.
Question: if you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?
— Ellis Cooper (@EllisCooperx) April 3, 2013
Solid question.
I played football and baseball, sorry, but said to be the best bball player in N.Y. State-ask coach Ted Dobias-said best he ever coached.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 3, 2013
Someone please ask Ted Dobias if he ever said that.
Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice is a total tool. I’m surprised he didn’t get his ass knocked out. #totalchump
— Steve Austin (@steveaustinBSR) April 3, 2013
And that’s the bottom line…
The cell phone was invented 40 years ago today. Years later, we got to see Brett Favre’s penis.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 3, 2013
Progress?
Another pantsless insanity day… instagram.com/p/XppxX7x6wT/
— Adrianne Curry (@AdrianneCurry) April 3, 2013
Every day should be pantsless insanity day.
Portia pointed out that if the movie is called “Finding Dory”, I’m probably gonna be missing for most of it. Somebody get my agent.
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) April 3, 2013
That’s true.
I have a knack for finding outfits that make me look like a 1970′s porn star. instagram.com/p/XnZVq4ylmB/
— Claire Sinclair(@ClaireSinclair_) April 3, 2013
I see no problem with that.
Group texts should be illegal
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) April 4, 2013
Word, sister.
By the way, Death’s about to get a SUPER shitty review.RIP, @ebertchicago
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 4, 2013
Thumbs down to Death.
The Roger Ebert die I never watch a movie again God bless him #teamsheikie
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) April 5, 2013
R.I.P. Roger.