eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
I want to paint a duet with George Bush can’t find him
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 25, 2013
hey @georgebush is that you
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 25, 2013
Yeah, that’s him Jose.
It’s hard being a person.
— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) March 25, 2013
That it is, Jeff.
Looking pudgy and I broke my nail #GirlProblemstwitpic.com/cej6ah
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 26, 2013
See if you notice her nails.
Is it OK that I don’t care about Buzz Bissinger?
— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) March 26, 2013
Yes.
I’m writing my blog now! Sorry I know have 2 kids home throwing up! Than God for zofran and tylenol!
— Brandi Glanville (@BrandiGlanville) March 26, 2013
For you or the kids?
When TSA asks me what something is, I want to go nuts. Really? You don’t know what deodorant looks like or you’re just being an asshole?
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2013
He’s just being an asshole.
An I AM LEGEND-style movie about the one man left on Earth without a podcast.You’re welcome, Hollywood.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) March 26, 2013
Hmmm. I should start a podcast.
Can’t decide what’s creepier. Tickling or direct messaging.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) March 27, 2013
Let’s call it a tie.
Seriously, who are these people that Justin Bieber can beat up? And why would they ever admit to such a thing?
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) March 27, 2013
That’s a very valid question.
Flight attendant: “Please turn off all mobile devices.” Me: “Fuck off I’m making a Vine.” Anyway. What does deported mean?
— Melissa Stetten(@MelissaStetten) March 27, 2013
Flight attendants can be so rude.
The New York Jets are laughing at the dysfunction of NBC’s Today show.
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) March 27, 2013
Nice double burn.
Well, it happened. My boyfriend walked in while I was looking through my legs at my vagina in the mirror.
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) March 27, 2013
Can’t. Get. Image. Out. Of. My. Head.
what the fuck you call the jewish cracker bread that taste like the @amandabynes ass?
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) March 27, 2013
Is that an Easter question?
The new Twitter makes me want to jump off a cliff.
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) March 27, 2013
Seems a little bit rash.
If gay marriage had been legal in 2005, I wouldn’t have had to marry a woman :(
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) March 27, 2013
Sadly, the world was a different place back then.
Wait. Ashley Judd isn’t gonna run for senator??? Please tell me this isn’t true. WHY DO BAD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!?! FUCK EVERYTHING!!!
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) March 27, 2013
I know, right?
Sean Penn’s son proves that the asshole doesn’t fall far from the tree.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) March 28, 2013
Those asshole trees make good firewood though.
just landed in #Brazil! so beautifulllll
— Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) March 28, 2013
The California legal system, people!!
I’m suing @usweekly & @perezhilton for continuing to act like I’m doing something wrong by tweeting and walking to photoshoots. Fuck you!!!!
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 28, 2013
5 minutes later…
Check my twitter for updates on my clothing and perfume line plus pix!
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 28, 2013
Nice segue.
marriage sucks the fucking life out of women, makes men have to provide for sex-the kids are the collateral damage of fake self righteous BS
— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) March 28, 2013
Well, uh, okay then.
Being bored is my new favorite thing to do.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) March 28, 2013
It is a fascinating hobby.
Some high school chick invited Tim Tebow to her senior prom which is so stupid, everyone knows he won’t put out.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) March 28, 2013
Yeah, what an idiot.
The benefits of working out at home? Pants are optional instagram.com/p/XaXSm6x65E/
— Adrianne Curry (@AdrianneCurry) March 28, 2013
Pants are always optional.
All yoga teachers are sex offenders.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) March 29, 2013
And there you go.