eldh, Flickr
Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
Photo credit: eldh, Flickr
You never wanna be known as the Ted Danson of eating pussy.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) January 7, 2013
That’s true.
Taking a cue from NFL quarterbacks, I’ve started sliding to avoid people at the office.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) January 7, 2013
I dare you to do this.
Before getting angry, ask yourself if it will really matter in 20 years.
— Karolina Kurkova (@karolinakurkova) January 7, 2013
Solid advice from a supermodel.
JWOWW’s Black Bronzer Won Industry Award for Best 2012 Bronzer!!!! Holler thank u so much supporters
— JWOWW (@JENNIWOWW) January 7, 2013
There’s actually an award for that?
E! has officially announced a new show featuring the “sex idiot.”..”What Would Ryan Lochte Do” coming soon.Terrorists win again.
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) January 7, 2013
It’ll fit right in with the Kardashian’s target audience.
Do idiots know that they are only here for our amusement? And the angrier they get about their lives the funnier it is. Haha
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) January 7, 2013
No, they do not. That’s what makes it great.
It’s okay Notre Dame this happened to the Jets every week
— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) January 8, 2013
Burn.
I have made it clear to my kids that if anyone says to them “Pics, or it didn’t happen,” it’s okay to hit that person.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) January 8, 2013
Seems like a reasonable policy.
Google Trends This AM: 1. AJ McCarron, 2. AJ McCarron’s Girlfriend, 3. Justin Bieber Smoking Weed.
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) January 8, 2013
‘Murica.
Katherine Webb embarass her husband Joe Webb fuck up the Minnesota in the playoff he dont deserve her %10000
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) January 8, 2013
The Sheik. Always on top of things.
Gained 5,000 followers for making a Bieber joke. Finally learning how to use the internet…
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) January 8, 2013
Bieber IS the Internet.
And yea I like to phuck I got a phuckin pro’lem
— Rihanna (@rihanna) January 9, 2013
That’s phuckin’ phine with me.
for every person who was murdered, there are a million who weren’t
— Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) January 9, 2013
Wait, what?
I once pooped in Al Roker’s pants too. Big deal.
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) January 9, 2013
Who hasn’t?
I was talking about Al Roker shitting his pants six months ago
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) January 10, 2013
No shit?
The way I see it, you should live everyday like it’s your birthday.
— Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) January 9, 2013
The way she sees it…
I suppose I’m more of a “cat person.” (I clean my loved ones with my tongue & I shit in a box)
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) January 10, 2013
At least he doesn’t shit in his pants.
Every new day creates new possibilities. Oh, except Thursdays.
— bob saget (@bobsaget) January 10, 2013
Hard to get motivated on a Thursday.
I almost posted a nude photo of myself. Wheeeww. So close. Hahahahaha
— Kendra Wilkinson (@KendraWilkinson) January 10, 2013
Hahahahaha.
My dream is to be in the top five sexiest woman for maxim magazine! Lets do it people! Would be fun , they have been very good to me!
— Jennifer Love Hewitt (@TheReal_Jlh) January 10, 2013
It’s her dream, you guys.
“@vatallpat:do you have a special name for your breasts?” Implants…
— Adrianne Curry (@AdrianneCurry) January 10, 2013
I like that name.
Looks like someone living is going to get inducted into a Hall of Fame this summer. The NFL has your back, Living Athletes!!
— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) January 11, 2013
How novel.